Fortune Cookies for Auction Buyers

I'll start it and I expect 900 contributions from 900 new members by the end of the month.

"You will find used diapers today. Wear gloves."

"Your fortune awaits you."

"Don't bid against Dave."

"Help! Trapped inside a 5x5 at Polk and Lex in Chicago."

"Free listings at this (deleted) web address"

Get the idea ?

LMAO!

One of the funniest things I've heard said by a noobie so far as we were all looking in the door:

"WOW!, this one has a MICROWAVE in it!!!"

One time i had a funny conversation with a newbie.

We both looked into a locker as they opend the door, i saw right away this table standing clock. It looked old and in nice condidition.
Well the newbie saw this clock also, and he said to me, all excited,

The Newbie: do you see that clock?
I said: yeah it's fake.
Newbie: how do you know
i said: i don't
Newbie: Why do you say it is fake if you don't know?
I said: 9 out of 10 is.
Newbie: but what if this is that 1 out of 10
I said: it is not
Newbie: why do you say that?
I said: because you are asking me.
Newbie: Then looked at me and said are you trying to throw me off?
I said: nope, i will let you know after the bidding is over.

Well i won that locker for 90 bucks and the clock was from England and made in 1963, so it was a good one. LOL...

Then the newbie came over to me and said, so are you gonna tell me?
I said to him, all you saw was the clock, and this caught your eyes and made you lose focus on everything else right? he confirmed that. So i said to him and pointed, do you see that box right under it saying "Robs playstation games" and the other box on the ground saying "old stuff" and not to mention the stack of 12 boxes of brand new floor tiles.  ++++ everything else in here.

Teacher and Mr. A...those are both good stories, now come up with some one-line statements you would put in a FORTUNE COOKIE to be opened by an auction buyer.

How about:

"Congratulations, you paid too much".

"Today, you will go on a trip......to the dump"

"Sometimes when you win, you lose".

"Don't bother looking, those parts aren't in there".

"There are multiple toilet plungers in your future".

Teacher...in post #4 you are right on track. There must be a hundred of these we could come up with.

Good ones !

- Did you see that rat.
- Call 1-800 JUNK my friend.
- You did not bring enough cash, sorry newbie.
- You don't want this unit, because i do

Lookin' good Mr. A ! 

Oh yeah, how about:

"There is a backache in your future"!  LOL

"You will watch the special (NEW) 2 hour edition of Auction Hunters on Spike, Monday, Feb 14, 2011".