Stupid Criminals

So get this. Our housekeeper, who we've employed over a year, decided she was going to steal my wife's credit card, some cash and jewelry, while my wife was out of town for a few weeks.

About a month or so ago, I needed to pay my wife's credit card bill and when I went to look for the card, it wasn't where she normally kept it. When my wife returned, I asked her where the card was and she told me she couldn't find it or the cash she had with it. I just assumed that it got lost somehow and didn't pay much attention to it. A few weeks later, the new credit card bill arrived and there was a charge for $38 to Dominoes Pizza. That caught my attention because we don't prefer Dominoes and the charge was made while she was out of town.

So, we started looking around to see if anything else was missing and we noticed that some of her jewelry and some of my silver was gone. Not all of it, just the good stuff. We knew it had to be her since no one else had been in our home except family.

When I spoke to the manager of Dominoes, I found out that the pizza was delivered to MY HOUSEKEEPER'S ADDRESS!

I've seen some pretty dumb criminals, but I think this one takes the cake.

When I spoke to the manager of Dominoes, I found out that the pizza was delivered to MY HOUSEKEEPER'S ADDRESS!

I've seen some pretty dumb criminals, but I think this one takes the cake.

What are you doing about it, anything?

You have a house keeper? Business must be booming!

What are you doing about it, anything?

Called the police. Filed credit card abuse and theft charges on her. Both felonies.

You have a house keeper? Business must be booming!

Might seem like a luxury, but in my house it's a necessity. How do I say this politely...my wife isn't as driven as I am.

Plus we have a 4 year old who gets into everything.

How do I say this politely...my wife isn't as driven as I am.

Time to her ass.

Time to her ass.

Thanks, but concrete walls and metal toilets don't appeal to me.

Thanks, but concrete walls and metal toilets don't appeal to me.

You wouldn't need a maid anymore.

You wouldn't need a maid anymore.

True, but I don't want to be someone's maid either.

I have a stupid criminal story to add. You know how when you buy a storage unit you end up learning stuff about the previous owners? Well one we bought recently turned up some prison letters so I goggled the owners name. Apparently the wife spent a few years in prison for armed robbery (or accessory to armed robbery, I guess). The letters were from her boyfriend (in prison) to her (in prison).  Apparently she and her boyfriend (Prior to the current husband she owned the storage unit with) robbed a gas station convenience store at gunpoint. She was driving the getaway car, he went inside. He made off with about $100.  A couple hours later they hit a second one. The boyfriend set his gun down on the counter to pick up the cash and the cashier picked the gun up and pointed it back at him! How stupid is that? He ran out and they drove off. I guess the cashier got a license plate number. A few hours later they were arrested at their residence. We name all our storage unit buys. We affectionately call that one the "Dumb Robber" unit. 

I have a stupid criminal story to add. You know how when you buy a storage unit you end up learning stuff about the previous owners? Well one we bought recently turned up some prison letters so I goggled the owners name. Apparently the wife spent a few years in prison for armed robbery (or accessory to armed robbery, I guess). The letters were from her boyfriend (in prison) to her (in prison).  Apparently she and her boyfriend (Prior to the current husband she owned the storage unit with) robbed a gas station convenience store at gunpoint. She was driving the getaway car, he went inside. He made off with about $100.  A couple hours later they hit a second one. The boyfriend set his gun down on the counter to pick up the cash and the cashier picked the gun up and pointed it back at him! How stupid is that? He ran out and they drove off. I guess the cashier got a license plate number. A few hours later they were arrested at their residence. We name all our storage unit buys. We affectionately call that one the "Dumb Robber" unit.

I've seen a couple videos like that on America's dumbest criminals. Gotta love it when the clerk starts shooting!