Storage Wars: Season 4, Episode 7: “Oysters on the Half Plate.”
What happens when you put oysters, beer, the Kings of Swag, and a lone Brandi into one episode?
Not much.
Hey, never said every episode was a 10 on the entertainment meter. This auction was held in Long Beach, California. Guest appearances made by Mark and Matt Harris.
Jarrod was unable to attend, which left Brandi all alone. Good idea? Bad idea?
Brandon was late which irked his dad. Darrell gave Brandon the silent treatment on the drive to the auction.
Darrell: The key to good parenting is non-communication.
There are times I just want to thwack Darrell with a spatula.
1st Storage Unit
Stove, refrigerator, mattress, karaoke machine, and a few boxes. Darrell’s new bid tactic was to place his hand on his neck then flutter his fingers. Whatever works when you don’t have a catch phrase.
Barry wanted this locker. “Why ask why?” he said. He beat Darrell’s fluttered-bid and won at $750. You know Barry would find something “small” to carry out for appraisal.
Yep. Four oyster plates. He packed them up and walked away from the mess he left behind. All I can say is, “Why ask why?”
Barry went on an oyster boat to figure out the value of his oyster plate set. Which, by the way, did have a few broken pieces. Fisherman valued the plates at around $450.
Barry was served freshly caught oysters on one of his plates. Yummy, for a moment. Waves of the sea however, not agreeable with Barry. He didn’t hurl, at least not on camera.
2nd Storage Unit
Dirty blankets, broken toys, ladders, old sewing machine, boxes, and trash bags. Darrell forgot he wasn’t speaking to Brandon and asked him a few questions about the locker. So much for the silent treatment.
Harris brothers dressed so refined, they took one look at this dirty locker, beneath them. Brandi didn’t want it either. But it wasn’t beneath Darrell. He won at $250.
Inside he found tools, jet ski equipment and a “gizmo.” Brandon stated a “gizmo” is a term Darrell uses when he is clueless about an item. Probably uses that term a lot.
They took the “gizmo” to a brewing company. It was a top-of-the-line home brewing kit. Complete with all parts and in very good condition. Valued at $450-$500.
3rd Storage Unit
Huge and packed to the ceiling. Remember, Brandi still hasn’t bought a locker. Jarrod kept calling her to buy something.
Brandi: He’s driving me crazy.
Chairs, refrigerator, microwave, love seat, and boxes galore. Brandi was a woman on a mission. She outbid everyone. At $1,300 the only players left were the Harris brothers. She told them she had more money than they and she kept right on bidding.
By the time the bid reached $1,900, the Harris brothers did the gentlemanly thing and let her have the locker. Once Brandi had time to reflect on the items inside the storage unit, she had an epiphany.
Brandi: I just paid too much for a mediocre locker. Oh, my God. I’m Jarrod!
Now that was funny! Jarrod came later to assess the items in the unit. Brandi prayed they would find something of value because they only way their relationship works, is when she’s right.
Oh, snap!
Jarrod found something. An ancient warrior helmet. They took it to Cable International Fine Arts & Antiques. Appraiser stated it was a Japanese Kabuto helmet.
Jarrod: Is it for the guys who built the Great Wall?
O-M-G! Did Jarrod just pull a Darrell? It’s Japanese. Great Wall was built by the Chinese and it’s in China. Okay, now I want to thwack Jarrod with a spatula.
Appraiser looked stupefied, but continued on with the appraisal. Helmet derived from the end of the 19th century. Shikoro, or neck guard, was in good condition. He valued the helmet at $7,500.
Brandi bowed in relief.
Profit Scorecard:
Jarrod Schulz & Brandi Passante: $5,955
Darrell Sheets: $455
Barry Weiss: LOSS – $90
Harris Brotheres: $0
Hopefully, Darell will find a parenting book in a locker and Jarrod a world globe.
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