Author - Matt Stacey

Storage Wars: Texas: Victor Keyless Clueless

December 20, 2011

Storage Wars: Texas: Season 1, Episode 3: “Snake, Rattle and Roll.”

Jerry put pressure on Lesa to sell more items and to not keep items for herself.

Ricky and Bubba agreed to once again play the ‘dumb old country boys’ in order to grab the good deals. Moe was nowhere to be found. Perhaps the Smiths could pick up some antiques.

Ricky: These guys… they ain’t even gonna know what hit ‘em.

Victor was cocky about getting the best of the locals. He was eager to nab any kind of motorized transportation which might be tucked away in a locker.

1^st Storage Unit

Nice furniture, lamps and well preserved picture frames. Consensus?

Money.

Lesa expressed how she felt about Victor. It wasn’t pretty. She messed Victor’s head before bids began. The mind games allowed Bubba and Ricky to win at $475.

Bubba: When Lesa and Victor act like this, it just makes my job a whole lot easier.

Bubba and Ricky dug in. Discovered good furniture, stacks of framed religious pictures, and a small silver antique Zeppelin. Not sure what the Zeppelin was used for; Bubba believed it might be a fancy ash tray.

Ricky: We’ve already doubled our money on this unit, so anything we get for the Zeppelin is the gravy train.

Expert stated it was an inkwell. Valued at $7,000.

That’s a LOT of gravy.

2^nd Storage Unit

Inflatable pool, shiny new scooter, and a lot of junk. Nothing to write home about. Victor zeroed in on the shiny new scooter. Ricky watched Victor fixate on the scooter.

Time for Ricky and Bubba to play a little trick on Victor.

Bubba: I got my phone out, actin’ like I’m lookin’ up the bike. I’m checking my email.

With absolutely NO intention to buy; Ricky and Bubba drove the bid up then dropped the locker on Victor at $1,600.

Victor, Victor, Victor.

Tsk. Tsk. Oldest trick in the Auction Playbook, Russian.

Victor rolled out the scooter. Legendary motorcycle expert, Rick Fairless, took a look at the Chinese scooter. No key – No value.

Uh. Ouch.

Victor: Not only did I lose $1,500, but I looked like a complete a**hole in front of the Texas motorcycle guru.

3^rd Storage Unit

Nice dresser and a mystery box tucked away behind it. Hmmm…

Lesa really liked the dresser and won locker at $140.

Lesa: That dresser is so nice I may have to keep it.
Jerry: Don’t keep it.

Lesa dug through and found a nice mirror, rattlesnake belt buckle, pair of nice rattlesnake skin boots, and a rattlesnake hat band with a rattler’s head!

What kind of freakish cowboy was this tenant?!

Lesa and Jerry took all the rattler gear over to a boot specialist. He appraised the items at $775. Jerry was glad they would be able to pay the store’s bills this month.

Where was Moe?

He was found digging around in a separate locker, pontificating about the wood furniture pieces he had discovered. A little late to the game, but happy with his purchase.

PROFIT SCORECARD:

Ricky & Bubba Smith: $7,630
Lesa Lewis & Jerry Simpson: $615
Victor Rjesnjansky: LOSS-$1,400

Victor learned NEVER to buy a scooter without a key.

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Storage Wars: Texas: Lesa Strikes Back

December 13, 2011

Matt Stacey

Storage Wars Texas

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Storage Wars: Texas: Season 1, Episode 2: “Bounty Hunter Bubba Fett.”

Victor needed more ‘middle of the rode’ priced items to please his Texas based customers. He got something unexpected.

Moe wanted wood collectibles, preferably teak, but walked away with a Fortune Teller’s best friends. Lesa and Jerry discussed a new strategy to get the upper hand on the competition.

Bubba and Ricky discussed their talent to decipher a storage unit’s worth in mere seconds. They don’t need five minutes. Uncle and nephew team got game.

Bubba: If you don’t have an eye for it, you’re screwed.

Also up for discussion – Lesa’s lack of appraisal skills.

1^st Storage Unit

Old toys, golf clubs, glass jugs, and nicely packed boxes labeled collectibles. Bawl alert! Bids rose fast and furious with Bubba and Lesa duking it out. Bubba ultimately grabbed the whole shebang for $925.

Bubba: Do I respect Lisa as a bidder? (pause) No.

Bubba and Ricky picked apart the items and quickly realized it was ‘Nerd Heaven.’ Cherry on top – pristine original 1980s Star Wars Boba Fett action figures. New and in original boxes.

Thank you, George Lucas.

Bubba: These aren’t worth a lot of money. These are worth a sh** load of money.

Bubba’s feelings about the locker proved Jedi worthy. He and Ricky made over $8,000 on just four Boba Fett action figures alone! The Force was truly with them.

2^nd Storage Unit

A gym bag, dirty old boxes, and stacks of ratty newspapers. Yikes.

Lesa: I wouldn’t even respect myself if I bought a unit like this.

The only one interested? Victor. Who grabbed the dump for $20.

Yippee. He needed another $20 for rattraps.

But Victor had the last laugh. He found a solid futon frame, nice leather jacket, and the mother of all Swiss army knives.

He cruised over to House of Blades where he cashed in the knife for a quick $500. Not bad for a $20 investment.

3^rd Storage Unit

Clothes, clothes, and more clothes. Thrift store central, baby.

Lesa and Moe went head to head for the unit’s contents. Lisa did her best to discourage Moe.

Lesa: Moe! You don’t want this sh**!

Moe closed the deal at $750. Lesa stormed off. Yelled obscenities at Moe. She went home with nothing but a foul mouth and a bad mood. She did strike back with her words but not with her skills.

Jerry: She gave them something. A headache maybe?

Moe got down and dirty as he picked apart piles of clothes. He unearth a sewing machine, a crystal ball, and a full deck of antique French playing cards. Hmm…

Was the crystal ball the real deal. He hustled over to a fortune teller. She saw into the future (not really) and said in the present – crystal ball valued at $400. Antique cards valued at $350.

Moe: My wife will be happy. She thinks we have enough wood between us.

Lesa and Jerry got bupkis. Victor educated on how to deal with locals.

Ricky learned that a ‘Bubba Fett’ can indeed be a powerful ally.

PROFIT SCORE CARD:

Ricky & Bubba Smith: $8,225
Victor Rjesnjansky: $570
Moe Prigoff: $375
Lesa Lewis & Jerry Simpson: $0

With the new Star Wars movies in producton; would you sell the action figures or hold out a few more years?

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Storage Wars: Texas: 1st Episode Recap

December 6, 2011

Matt Stacey

Storage Wars Texas

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Storage Wars: Texas: Season 1, Episode 1: “Texas Sold ‘Em.”

Bubba and Ricky Smith came a long way from Lampass, Texas. Country boys plan to not leave empty handed.

New York transport, Victor Rjesnjansky, prides himself on being smarter and more refined than the locals. That could be his undoing.

Lesa Lewis opened her own thrift store. Her assistant Jerry Simpson does the grunge work. Morris ‘Moe’ Prigoff, self-described antiques aficionado, brought his A-game. Along with his sense of (cough, cough) uh, style.

Walt Cade: These ain’t your fancy ‘city-folk’ lockers.

Great Storage Stampede in Texas a battle of wits and egos from the word – Go!

1^st Storage Unit
Few nice lamps, sleigh bed, and a pair of hooker shoes. Victor strong out of the gate. However Moe smelled money. He sniped the locker at $525.

Doc found retro furniture. Definitely worth his investment.

SCORE!

He found a lithograph print from the 1950s by artist Alexander Calder. He then found another lithograph from famous artist Peter Max.

CHA-CHING!

Moe : I may never come out of this one!

Doc had the art work appraised. Valued at $14,000.

2^nd Storage Unit
Piles of thrift store clothes and a few old dressers.

Ricky Smith: Somebody threw this stuff in here and made like a sheepherder, and got the flock outta here.

Hardy-har.

Victor looked for clues to find value beyond what was apparant. Bid war with Lesa. He won at $250.

Victor: Those maple dressers, that’s a GOOD sign.

Victor picked apart the locker. He discovered a stash of women’s purses. Big whoop! Then his unique find. Antique gun and flack jacket.

Victor needed to get the gun appraised. He went to Sam who said the weapon did have value. Appraiser however had no clue. Smart move there, Russian.

3^rd Storage Unit
Hardware supplies and commcercial equipment.

Lesa and Moe thumbed their noses at the contents. Ricky and Victor however knew any commercial equipment was easy money. NY vs. Texas.

Victor: The North always beats the South. Don’t these guys remember the Alamo?

Not this time, Vic. Ricky and Bubba swiped the locker at $425.

Uncle and nephew picked dug through and guess what? Money-Money-Money. Commercial equipment will sell for big bucks. Bubba found an antique air compressor which sported the Michelin Man.

Their antique dealer friend gave them good news. Valued at $3,000.

Ricky: This sounds tre-bien to me.

Victor made a little cash on antique gun. Moe cashed in on his art. Ricky and Bubba cashed in on industrial equipment.

Lesa and Jerry went back to her new store with cash still in her pocket.

PROFIT SCORE CARD:

Moe Prigoff: $14,215
Ricky & Bubba Smith: $3,735
Victor Rjesnjansky: $870
Lesa Lewis & Jerry Simpson: $0

Victor found a series of ‘questionable’ Polaroids – would you turn them over to the authorities?

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