Storage Wars: I’m no Dummy

Jeff-Dunham-SW41Storage Wars: Season 4, Episode 1: “Auctioning for Dummies.”

What may we expect in this new season of Storage Wars? Lack of brains. Lack of humility. Lack of “Yuuup” Mogul Dave Hester.

Returning players were Darrell Sheets, Jarrod Schulz and Brandi Passante, Barry Weiss, and resident auctioneers Dan and Laura. Guest appearances by Nabila Hannis and the late Mark Balelo.

Darrell won a storage unit that contained $300,000 worth of original oil paintings last season. Now he’s the self proclaimed new mogul at everyone’s annoyance. But like the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz, he needs a brain. You’ll see why when he dug through his unit.

Auction was held in Stanton, California.

1st Storage Unit
Small but stacked from floor to ceiling with boxes. Boxes were labeled Easter, Christmas, Avon, and crafts. One small possible treasure was a jewelry box which was barely visible as it was semi-covered by a cloth.

Darrell and Nabila were the only two who spotted the jewelry box and they bid hard for the locker. Darrell won at $1,800. Did the box contain real gold jewelry? Yes. “The Gambler” got lucky as he found not one but three jewelry boxes filled with gold jewelry. Darrell pulled out a graduation tassel which had a gold school ring hooked to the top.

Darrell: This looks like my “Alla Matter.”

DOH!!!

It’s Alma Mater, Darrell. There goes the lack of vocabulary. What about the lack of humility? A tie between Nabila and Mark.

2nd Storage Unit
Inexpensive furniture, garbage bags, and boxes. Nabila mocked Mark’s custom made man purse and in her arrogance thought to drop the unit on him. He in turn dropped the unit on her. Oops!

Mark flashed his man purse and won the 3rd unit, 4th unit, and 5th unit. What he found inside those units was not disclosed during the show.

But they did show what Nabila found in her unappealing storage unit. A dummy. No, seriously. An authentic, vintage ventriloquist dummy. She took the dummy to have it appraised by a friend. Wow, Nabila has a few famous friends. Appraiser none than Jeff Dunham. He is one of America’s most successful stand-up comedians and a ventriloquist.

He stated the ventriloquist dummy was called the “Willy Talk.” A toy made for children around 1925-1945. Dummy she had was the smallest of three made of that model. Jeff used the dummy to banter the appraisal at about $85. That was fun-ny! Nabila gave Jeff the dummy as a gift. That was nice of her, but don’t expect to see nice from Nabila twice.

3rd Storage Unit
Back-breaker. No one really wanted this unit because of the amount of work it would take to unload and haul the items. About 40 complete motorcycle engines and 20 incomplete motorcycle engines. Not to mention a truckload of loose motorcycle parts.

Ugh! Jarrod and Darrell were out of the picture. That left Barry and Nabila to fight it out.

Barry: There is no way Nabila is getting her hands on my parts… my motorcycle parts.
Nabila: Barry’s eyes are way bigger than his muscles.

Maybe so, Nabila but you didn’t want to break your back having to haul a ton of metal either. Barry won at $1,700.

We know Barry doesn’t own a truck or a thrift store. How will he unload this back-breaking load? He brought a friend by, Yosh a motorcycle shop owner to take a look at the items. Yosh, impressed and overwhelmed at the amount of engines and motorcycle parts, offered Barry $10,000 on the spot.

Profit Scorecard:

Barry Weiss: $8,300
Darrell Sheets: $1,995
Nabila Haniss: Loss -$50

Barry didn’t lift a finger to unload his unit and made a ton of money. He’s no dummy.

Please leave you insightful opinions in the comment box below.

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Chuck G.

Freelance writer, blogger, screenwriter, short film script writer & producer.

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