Storage Wars: Season 1, Episode 16: “High End Heist.”
Dave brought his entire posse and planned to TCB or “take care of business.” Darrell was in a bad mood. Barry was bored. Brandi considered herself an expert because she’s attended auctions for two months. She was bent on buying her own storage unit. Jarrod was annoyed.
They all just needed to take a deep breath and smell the roses.
1st Storage Unit
Hodgepodge of a little of this and a little of that. Compressor, old typewriter, and stuff. Darrell educated an unknown player that the yellow framed object was a land sail.
Barry: Look how big that compressor is. Big enough to compress some of Darrell’s bull sh–!
That was the curtest thing we’ve heard Barry say. He went after the locker and almost bid himself up.
Dan: These days I just ignore Barry when he bids twice in a row.
Good man, Dan. When Barry asked who he was bidding against, a few players said, “Yourself and you’re winning.” That was fun-ny! Barry won the locker at $825.
He was able to get the land sail out of the storage unit. However, other items 
proved too heavy to carry for one person. He asked Jarrod for help. After moving a few heavy items out of the locker, they could not find the mast to the land sail.
Barry drove out to the desert to get the land yacht (proper term) appraised. Unfortunately it was hand-made with bike parts. Valued at $200.
2nd Storage Unit
JAGUAR! The car not the animal… BUT, by law they can’t sell the car unless the DMV process is done. Everyone fixated on the car they didn’t notice a dinning table against the wall.
Can’t see the forest for the trees.
Dave won at $500. As he went to the back of the locker he found a wine cooler, reproduction of an antique mirror, luggage, and three reproduction Samurai swords.
Nothing to appraise here. Brandi and Jarrod not happy with the auction so far.
Brandi: Clearly Jarrod and I are not on the same page today. Maybe we buy our own lockers.
Jarrod: I like Brandi’s idea. But if she buys a crap unit, I’m still the one paying for it.
3rd Storage Unit
Refrigerator, table, microwave, and miscellaneous items.
Jarrod tried to physically restrain Brandi from bidding. Ha! Didn’t work.
She pulled in the last bid at $250.
Brandi was happy and jiggy her own little victory dance. (Yes, she needed dance lessons.)
4th Storage Unit
Boxes, chairs, and more boxes. Barry shook his head, not for him. Darrell stated the vacuum was poor quality with hair sticking out of it (ew).
Dave stated it was mediocre; quality was not there. Jarrod however was interested and won at $400.
Jarrod: If there’s a locker I can make money on and piss Brandi off at the same time, this one’s it.
Jarrod and Brandi had the merchandise of both storage units hauled back to their thrift store. Jarrod’s pile of “to the dumpster it will go” grew large. Brandi looked through the books of Jarrod’s locker and found a 1922 $50 certificate.
Brandi: Crap. If this turns out to be worth something, I’ll never hear the end of it from him.
No worries, Brandi. It was appraised at $200.
As they unloaded Brandi’s merchandise, it was the gift that kept on giving. Desk, microwave, lamp, couple of sofas, dresser, bread maker, and more. Jarrod kicked the wall to his building. Now, now, don’t be jealous. Brandi did indeed pick out the better storage unit.
Note:
1. The show still not set on the 3 storage units and 3 appraisals per episode format.
Profit Scorecard:
Dave Hester: $1,975
Brandi Passante: $1,245
Jarrod Schulz: LOSS -$50
Barry Weiss: LOSS -$650
Darrell Sheets: $0
Who did you think had the better storage unit just from the photo; Brandi or Jarrod?
Please leave your insightful thoughts on the episode in the comment box below.
