Storage Wars: French Burglar

BarryWeiss-FrenchBurglar-SW413Storage Wars: Season 4, Episode 13: “The French Job.”

Auction held in Laguna Niguel, California.

Calvin got a traffic ticket. Barry was disqualified. Harris brothers bought a locker just to buy.

Jarrod bought a locker for a toy. Barry came back to the storage facility incognito.

They’re all nuts!

Guest appearances by Ivy Calvin and Mark & Matt Harris.

Absent were Darrell Sheets and Brandon.

Ivy lost his way on the drive to the storage auction and incurred a traffic ticket for using his cell phone while driving, which amounted to a $300 fine! Ouch.

Barry invited Elan, a French photographer, to do a photo essay of the storage auction. Does Barry speak French? Uh, no. Photographer’s English, not too good.

1st Storage Unit
UGH-mania! Two boxes and a speaker. Unit neither half-full nor half-empty, it was just empty.

Barry: Even Elan understands the international language of crap.

Who was dumb enough to buy this locker? Harris brothers at $170! They balked in the interview room about taking risk. This was not a risk. This was a dumb and dumber move. I expect more from the refined twins.

What did they find? Crap! A power saw, small flood light, small camcorder, one speaker, and trash. They broke even, but they overpaid for the locker from the get-go, no thanks to Ivy.

2nd Storage Unit
Cheap furniture, computer desk, chairs, boxes, and up front and center a scooter. Brandi moaned when she saw the motor toy.

Brandi: The minute Jarrod sees a scooter, he turns into a ten-year-old.

Did Jarrod win the storage unit? Need you ask? For $750. Brandi stressed to find something of value because that scooter would not make it to their thrift store.

Jarrod found detailing equipment and supplies, but it was several boxes of yo-yo’s that would get them out of the hole. Couple went to a toy store. Once there Brandi rethought the situation.

Brandi: Taking Jarrod to a toy store is a big mistake because he’s a giant child.

Mistake or not they were graced to meet yo-yo champion Paul Yath. He stated that yo-yo’s were first invented in the Philippines as hunters would use them to attack prey.

Paul evaluated the collection and found yo-yo’s he’s never seen before. Good news for Jarrod and Brandi. Entire collection, still in original packaging, valued at over $2,000.

3rd Storage Unit
Single tall, safe. It had an electronic face, so definitely a newer model. Barry slipped his arm past the threshold to check if the handles of the safe would move. Dan Dotson grabbed Barry from behind. Got-cha!

DISQUALIFIED!

He broke the rules. Don’t touch anything inside the locker. As if that would prevent Barry from participating in the auction. He had his French pal proxy bid for him. That irked Ivy to no end, but in the end, Frenchy won the unit at $600.

Barry returned to the facility dressed in black. He wore a fake mustache and beret on his head. Like a bad “B” movie French cat burglar, he snuck up on his own unit.

I now understand why Nabila calls the cast a “traveling circus.”

Barry was determined to crack the safe himself, like they do in the movies. He used a stethoscope. Nope. Hammer and nail. Nope. Blow torch. Uh, what?! But, Barry, that will ruin the…

Too late. He melted the digital face of the safe. Smart move, Barry. Safe cracker came and opened the vault and guess what, yep, it was empty.

Profit Scorecard:

Jarrod Schulz: $1,750
Harris Brothers: $0 – broke even
Ivy Calvin: Traffic Ticket LOSS -$300
Barry Weiss: loss -$600

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Chuck G.

Freelance writer, blogger, screenwriter, short film script writer & producer.

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