Storage Wars: Rene a Woman?

ReneNezhoda-Casey Nezhoda-KimonoStorage Wars: Season 5, Episode 9: “Boom Goes the Dynamite?”

Laura Dotson, dressed in a robe, practiced her – “Remember folks to pay the lady” quip in front of a mirror. Where you ask? Inside her very posh bedroom.

Dan, dressed in a robe also, read the paper in bed. Those two live a comfortable life, but work like miners everyday. We give them props!

Auction held in Rene’s territory. He made sure everyone was aware. Darrell felt competitive. Ivy felt a little propriety of Murrieta after running across Ivy Street.

Brandi was felt low. Jarrod felt like having fun.

1st-unit-SW5-91st Storage Unit

Stereo, toy kitchen, DVDs, toy car, hangers, clothes, furniture, pocket bike, fishing pole, skate board, drum kit, bench, tools, camping gear, and boxes . Jarrod saw the pocket bike and was instantly sold on the unit. He won it for $1,300.

Brandi went through piles of junk while Jarrod tried every key in the locker on the pocket bike.

Brandi finally found the key. Jarrod turned it on. If worked, but the tires were flat, brakes didn’t work, and throttle busted. pocketbike-SW5-9Jarrod however was having fun.

The couple had the pocket bike repaired. Time for a little race at the Adams Motorsports Park.

Brandi: Get ready to eat my dust Jarrod!

My money’s on Brandi!

Voom! VooOM!

Jarrod was in the lead. Brandi closed in on him.

VOOOOM!

Brandi zoomed past! And she’s was the winner! (Or did he let her win, hmmm.)

2nd-unit-SW-5-92nd Storage Unit

Shovel, rake, vacuum, ladder, mini fridge, old computers, heaters, camping gear, and shredder. Rene and Darrell went head to head. But Darrell won the unit for $500.

Darrell: Rene backed off of this locker because he knows: Never get between a Papa Bear and his honey hole.

Darrell found a tool box, golf trophies, hard drives, watch, and pick ax. Brandon unpacked a camera and new sun glasses.

Brandon scored big when he found a mining box used to blow up dynamite.

Darrell: Dare I say this locker was exploding wimining-box-SW-5-9th profit.

Ugh. Work on your puns, Darrell.

Father and son took the mining box to an expert in old mining equipment. He dated the item to the late 19th century. Let’s check to see if it worked.

Darrell volunteered Brandon to place the dynamite. (Thanks, dad.) Darrell also volunteered Brandon to stand 10 feet from the explosion. Darrell, of course, stood way back.

Brandon pushed down the lever. Nothing happened. The dynamite was a fake.

The expert bemused that Brandon didn’t blink at the idea of being so near an explosion. Kidding aside, the mining box made Darrell and Brandon $800.

3rd-unit-SW-5-93rd Storage Unit

Furniture, paintings, tarps, plastic containers, and one really bad smell. Darrell raised the price then dropped the locker on Rene for $500.

The furniture was Asian inspired. There were clothes inside one of the dressers. Rene also found several garment bags. Casey beamed with excitement, instantly unzipped the bags.

Rene: Hey calm down tiger! All of a sudden you want to work?

The couple found three beautiful kimonos. Beautiful designs and very nicely made. Time to take them to be appraised by an expert in Japanese culture. kimono-SW-5-9

Rene took one look at the expert and his jaw dropped. The guy wasn’t a little Japanese man. He was a tall Caucasian. Expert told Rene he watched too much TV.

One of the kimonos was made for a woman when she turned twenty. The other two were wedding kimonos.

The length of the sleeves determined the type of kimono. Used, they were worth $1,000 altogether.

Before leaving, Rene wanted to know if the expert had any samurai armor to try on.

Rene: Do they come in big boy’s size?

No, Rene. Only in a warrior’s size.

Profit Scorecard:

Darrell Sheets: $2,440
Rene & Casey Nezhoda:  $890
Ivy Calvin: $0
Jarrod Schulz & Brandi Passante: LOSS -$1,200

Whose unit had the best merchandise?

Please leave your insightful opinions in the comment box below.

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Naomi Luc

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