Author - Chuck G.

Container Wars: Cardboard Hell

February 11, 2013

Container Wars: Season 1, Episode 4: “Secret Stash.”

Once in a while during an auction there’s a mystery container. Temptation. Anticipation. Exhilaration. Israel trio scored the biggest… Before I get to their container; let’s see what happened for the other players.

1^st Container: Port of Origin – Panama City, Panama.

Persian rugs, high-end antique furniture, 1920s chandelier, and a large item strapped to the wall covered by a packing blanket.

Matt bawked his bid like a chicken that lost its head, “You chicken paw, paw, paw.” Intimidation it was not. Instead it was an invitation for Mo to up the bid. Matt escalated the bid to $10,000 and rose to $20,000. He won, but it wasn’t a big payoff.

Underneath the blanket was a safe. Matt hired a locksmith and inside he found a briefcase, but it was empty. Bawk. He also found two wooden boxes inside drawers. One box contained fake jewelry. Bawk, bawk. The second box however did contain an antique Colt .45. Okay, he scored a little extra. I’ll give him that. But not enough to bawk like a crazy chicken.

Cost: $20,000
Profit: $4,000

2^nd Container: Port of Origin – Norfolk, Virginia.

John the auctioneer shouted, “Pop this can!”

EE-OO-EE-OO!!!

Container was booby trapped with an alarm system. Deafening! John disabled the alarm which was near the door. Sounded like an air raid, which by chance was fitting for this container.

Inside military surplus boxes labeled blankets, gas masks, ready-to-eat meals (MREs), canned food, hazmat suits, and more. Uzi wanted a jackpot, not something to put in a crock pot. Mo and Ty however thought they could flip the items quickly to survivalist and weekend warrior campers.

Uzi didn’t want the unit however he bid up to $10,000. Then it got real quiet. Uzi was about to implode or explode as he did not want to buy this unit.

Shout from the back from Jason with a $10,200 bid. Uzi exhaled. Mo eventually won container for $11,200 then proceeded with a victory dance. Swag? Uh, no. He needs dance lessons.

Cost: $11,200
Profit: $6,000

3^rd Container: Port of Origin – New Orleans, Louisiana. Doors open wide. Stacked high with cardboard boxes. What’s in the back, a mystery. Ooh. Aww.

Matt stated it’s a little known fact that cardboard is the #1 export to China. He was in. So was Mo. But it was Shlomi who convinced his team he had a good feeling about this container. They went all in.

Uzi: If Shlomi is wrong about this container, I’m gonna have him live inside the cardboard box!

Matt, Mo and Uzi gambled big. Israel trio thundered at $20,500. Too rich for the other players. For the first time John asked if everyone wanted to stick around to see what was inside the unit.

Uzi, Shlomi and Eyal climbed up and over the boxes into the far back of the container. They scored BIG! The biggest laugh that is; nothing but cardboard from front to back. Crowd applauded and laughed.

Wah. Wah. Wah.

John Kunkle: I just want to say one more time all sales are final.

Cost: $25,500
LOSS: – Huge!

4^th Container: Port of Origin – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

An Outhouse. Seriously, a brand new portable potty along with construction dividers. Matt’s out. He usually likes pretty things. This was all Jason who smoked the bid up to $14,000.

He found a wrecking ball and a new construction loader. He more than doubled his money on his unit, and had the dignity not to bawk like a chicken or jiggy a victory dance.

Cost: $14,000
Profit: $24,000

Lesson learned: If the container is stacked with empty boxes, then it’s probably full of empty boxes – duh!

Please leave your creative thoughts on the show in the comment box below.

Container Wars: Rubber Duck Spa

January 28, 2013

Chuck G.

Container Wars

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Container Wars: Season 1, Episode 3: “Israel Angst.”

In this episode, one player would rise as a big loser and one would rise as a big winner. Both were the same person. Off to Oakland, California shipyards for this auction.

1^st Container: Port of Origin – Hanoi, Vietnam.

Ooo! Ahh! Lots and lots of liquor. Visible were Vodka bottles and thirteen barrels of wine. Keep in mind there were unmarked boxes. Liquor can handle heat but not beer nor wine.

Jason, once a bartender, wanted this unit. He and Deana engaged in a bid war until she dropped out but then stepped in Matt who had connections to unload the liquor. He won the container for $27,000.

Matt checked the cases of Bakon Vodka (70 proof) about 400 bottles. Wholesale he estimated at least $11,000 for the lot. That’s good. Unfortunately he found beer and more beer. Not good. He opened another unmarked box and…

GAH!

Inside the liquor bottle was a black scorpion and a part of a snake. In Vietnam culture, snake wine is widely accepted to improve health and virility. I think I’ll stick with vitamins and supplements, thank you. What about his barrels of wine? Tasted like vinegar. A bust.

Cost: $27,000
LOSS: -$2,000

2^nd Container: Port of Origin – London, England.

Visible was an army bicycle, beacon, hand crank siren, boxes and a tarp that covered a large object. Israel duo shouted $7,000 and Matt countered with $15,000. Oh, how the big boys like to play. Uzi and Shlomi played hard and won the container for $29,000.

They found a surplus of army gear. Parachutes, Rosie the Riveter posters, and walkie talkies. However that just would just about break them even. What’s under the tarp?

US Motorcycle with sidecar. Mazel Tov! Oh, wait, they have to have it appraised first. It’s not an original WWII cycle. Made in Russia (not kidding) and at least ten-years old valued at $6,500. Not a Mazel Tov moment but that did help push them into a profit.

Cost: $29,000
Profit: $7,200

3^rd Container: Port of Origin – Balitmore, Maryland.

Lots of huge boxes, a few stands and what appeared as possible spa equipment. You knew Deana would be all over this but so was Jason. He lost one container and was not about to lose another. Jason won container for $24,000.

Cal Spa brand items, spa blankets, and cedar spa tubs, yep, spa haven. Jason stepped into a tub then cuddled with a rubber ducky. Say it with me, “Ew!”

Cost: $24,000
Profit: $2,800

4^th Container: Port of Origin – Oakland, California.

Huge boxes in front blocked the view to what was opened in the back. Rotisserie wheels were the only sign that the container could hold commercial barbeque equipment. Uzi and Shlomi climbed on the backs of Ty and Mo for a better look. Not cool. Not cool.

John Kunkle: Behave yourselves, you understand what I’m saying or I’m benching you and you’re out of here.

Israel duo did settle, finally. Shlomi gave Uzi a boost and what did he see in the back? Grills and more grills. Matt didn’t need a boost to know this was a good container. He battled with the Israel duo and won the unit for $17,500.

Boxes contained an overabundance of grilling utensils from top of the line brand Santa Maria. Matt weaved his way to the back and all the barbeque equipment was made by the same company. He even found a grill on a trailer. It’s party time!

Cost: $17,500
Profit: $10,000

Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. Matt experienced both on the same day.

Please leave your creative comments in the box below.

Container Wars: Roach Motel

January 14, 2013

Chuck G.

Container Wars

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Container Wars: Season 1, Episode 1: “Booby Traps and Safes.”

A common speculation generated that there’s one type of organic creature that can survive a nuclear war.

Cockroaches.

True or false?

Who knows, but cockroaches can survive a very long sea voyage inside a container, that’s a fact!

Which unlucky player bought a roach motel?

Let’s see, shall we…

1^st Container: Port of Origin – Los Angeles, California.

Mama Mia! Boxes labeled “Bonspeed Wheels,” designer wheels on top of boxes, and a fiberglass hood. Container screamed money!

Uzi felt it, but Shlomi and Eyal not so much. They tried to cut Uzi off as the bid rose to $13,000. Uzi however had selective hearing. He kept right on bidding until he won at $17,000. Shlomi and Eyal ready to give Uzi a world a hurt.

Once inside the container, the trio found a stock load of performance car parts. All smiles now. Something hidden underneath a tarp in the back. At the count of three they unveiled a 50s Porsche! Uzi and Shlomi danced but Eyal rained on their parade. Porsche made of fiber glass. It’s a kit car, not the real deal. Still, everyone’s happy.

Uzi: What can I say? I’m a genius. I’m amaze myself.

Definitely a new catch phrase!

Cost: $17,000
Profit: $38,000

2^nd Container: Port of Origin – Not Specified.

It was loaded in Asia then forfeited. Uh, oh. Why does that not sound quite right? After auctioneer John told Moose the security guy to pop-that-lock, oh my. The stench!

Boxes and cylinder containers full of spices. A few container’s seals were broken. Uh, oh. Why did that not feel quite right? It’s obvious to everyone the boxes contained spices. Jason won at $10,000.

Jason entered the container. Fennel seed, peppercorn, tea leaves, and rotting herbs crawling with big, gnarly-ass

COCKROACHES!

I would just set a bonfire.

Cost: $10,000
LOSS: -$4,500

3^rd Container: Port of Origin – Prague, Czech Republic.

Visible were several antique wooden chests. Tarp on right of the container, absolutely no clue what’s underneath. Large crate in back. Underneath that’s visible were the hoofs of carousel horses.

Beauty queen approached Daddy Warbucks about going in together on this unit. Oh, Deana, what a bad idea. You know Matt bids like a maniac. Matt opened at $5,000. Dean’s reply to that, “WTF?” Matt jumped bid to $20,000, to $30,000, to $40,000, and finally won at $45,000.

Deana: I don’t think this was a good idea.

Ya think beauty queen? Underneath the tarp was a hand-painted puppet theater show. Inside the old chests were 1920s carnival freak-show items. They did have a full 22-horse carousel set, but it was a “kiddies” horse set, not full-size.

Deana called a circus expert to appraise the portable carousel. He stated it was made by the Allen Herschell Company around the 40s-50s. Appraised at $25,000-$35,000. Barely made a profit, but at least they didn’t lose their shirts.

Cost: $45,000
Profit: $2,500

4^th Container: Port of Origin – Bangkok, Thailand.

Lots of crates and boxes. What was visible looked like martial arts equipment. Matt and Jason entered the ring to kick-box bid war. Matt with bigger money-gloves won at $20,000.

He found enough martial arts equipment to supply an entire dojo. In the very back of the container was the surprise. Tuk-Tuk taxi cab. It’s a three-wheeled taxi and it looked new.

Cost: $20,000
Profit: $12,400

Matt boasted to the security guard how he was the big winner of the day. Just as the words left his mouth, the Israeli trio drove past him in their Porsche kit car. Porsche trumps Tuk-Tuk.

Lesson learned: Stink = Trash = Cockroaches.

Please leave your insightful thoughts on the episode in the comment box below.

Storage Wars: New York: How do you spell Timex? R-O-L-E-X

January 9, 2013

Chuck G.

Storage Wars New York

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Storage Wars: New York: Season 1, Episode 4: “The Shore Thing.”

Auction held in Shore, New Jersey.

Candy and Courtney finally had serious cheddar (money) to spend, $1,500! Time to play with the big boys, but they didn’t spend money, not really. Oh, they bought a locker. They scored. But they hardly spent any money at all.

JACKPOT!

That’s how to play the game, gals – buy low and sell high.

1^st Storage Unit
Large and sparse. Contained a few pieces of furniture. C&C were out. Joe P’s out. Mike didn’t want the locker, but he knew Chris and Tad would.

His strategy was to make them pay, but then he forgot to bid. Good one, Mike. Chris won the locker for $325.

Chris and Tad carried a console table out of the locker. With upholstery they figured they could flip it for $500 (cough, cough). I think they took lessons on “How to inflate your appraisal!” from Joe P.

Rest of the furniture was old. Chris did find a watch without a band inside a drawer. Took a quick glance. Handed it to Tad. “It’s a Timex.” Tad studied the face of the watch.

Tad: I guess that’s how you spell Timex. R-O-L-E-X.

Chris didn’t believe him. He took another look at the face of the watch. Oops! He dropped the watch on the pavement. Gah! Good one, Chris.

The duo went to Grand Central Station to get the watch appraised. It was a Rolex made in 1957. Made with 14-karat gold and all of its original pieces still intact. Valued at $1,600-$2,000.

Tad: Not bad for a Timex, huh, Chris.

2^nd Storage Unit
John Luke stated it would take two seconds to look inside one rubber container with a dirty couch cushion on top. Joe P’s out. Chris and Tad were out. Mike’s out.

Mike: This unit’s a no-brainer. As in, if you buy it, you got no brain.

Candy and Courtney however saw ‘fur’ inside the tub. Fur = Mink. They wanted to buy the locker for only $5, but some irritating man in the crowd bid them up to $25. What was the fur?

Fur = Stuffed Gorilla!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Well, now they have a new mascot for their banana van. Get it, banana van… gorilla… oh, never mind. Anyhoo, Courtney found a type of radio transmitter in the rubber container.

C&C took the ‘electronic device’ (gals so clueless unless its fashion) for appraisal. Brand new IC-7000 Ham Radio. Type you would put in your car. Top-of-the-line and it worked beautifully to the sound wave of a $1,000 value.

This is why you shouldn’t pass over unassuming lockers.

3^rd Storage Unit
Messy man cave (like there’s another kind). Mattresses, lamps, chairs, generator, dart board, camouflaged bow with arrows, flat screen televisions, and lots of trash bags.

C&C were out. Joe P showed little interest and was out early in the bid. This was all Mikey vs. Tad. Guido pumped the bid from $500 to $1,000. He won at $1,700.

Lots of clothes. Lots of trash. Mike did however find a construction type tripod and what appeared to be site survey equipment. He took the items to Terry, a friend of his who works in construction.

Terry stated the contraption was a Theodolite (sits on top of the tripod). Used to measure height, horizontal and vertical angles for building homes and such. Digital display worked. Lens in great shape. Terry offered $700. Deal!

Now here’s the thing. Terry never stated what the true value of the surveyor equipment. Mike flips merchandise quickly, but he can also lose potential profit.

Profit Scorecard:

Chris Morelli & Tad Eaton: $2,725
Candy Olsen & Courtney Wagner: $975
Mike Braiotta: $275
Joe P: $0

Lockers with the biggest payoff were the small unassuming ones, chew on that for a bit.

Please leave your insightful thoughts in the comment box below.

Storage Wars: New York: Joe P Goes Cuckoo on His Resell Price of Items

January 8, 2013

Chuck G.

Storage Wars New York

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Storage Wars: New York: Season 1, Episode 3: “Straight Outta Connecticut.”

Auction held in Danbury, Connecticut.

Chris and Tad lost on the way. Candy and Courtney stated they could only buy what would fit in their banana van. Mike and Joe P both took a ‘pompous’ pill that billowed a lot of hot air from their mouths.

Ugh, they all gave me a headache before the show began.

1^st Storage Unit
Filled with furniture and boxes. Visible to the eye an old dresser, plastic patio chairs, old sewing machine, antique wooden bench, wire wine rack, and wooden chairs.

Cobwebs indicative storage unit untouched for a period of time.

That could be a good thing or a bad thing, depends on what’s inside the boxes. C&C placed a cap at a little over $900. Uh, hello! Gals, you drive a BANANA VAN! How do you plan to fit all of ‘that’ into your little boat of a car?

That did not stop Candy from battling Chris for the storage unit. However, Chris won the locker at $1,000. Merchandise hauled back to their store. Chris and Tad dug through boxes. Silver plated items, wicker basket full of jewelry still in boxes, and a like-new cuckoo clock. They did okay.

2^nd Storage Unit
Antique furniture and huge boxes. Visible were old rolled-up rugs, Asian table, French desk, and pillar type lamps.

C&C were out. Mike knew he could not flip furniture quickly, so he was out. Battle between Joe and Tad, but Joe P wasn’t letting this big fish of a room go. Joe P won the locker for $2,500.

Joe P dug through the storage unit and rattled off values to items. Carpet (unrolled), $200. French couch (mostly covered and on its side), $350. French desk (stuff stacked on top and pinned by other items), $750.

WHO YOU KIDDING?

Before you go off and inflate the value of your merchandise, at least have the decency to place that item in plain site. Was the table scratched, or the desk? Was the couch stained, or the rugs?

Give us a break!

Joe P did find a cornet in a case. Appraiser stated Cornets went out of fashion in the 1930s. The serial number on the Martin Committee cornet dated at 1947. Valves in good condition. Air compression, good. Appraised at $2,250.

That, I’ll believe.

3^rd Storage Unit
Two small sail boats and a mower without a steering wheel. C&C walked away, as did Chris and Tad.

Tad: Boat don’t float. Mower don’t mow. Get away from it.

Guido Mike however saw money. Grew up near the water so he knew he could flip the boats fast if they float. Easy win on storage unit for Mike at $300.

Mike’s father and his cousin Brandon worked on one of the boats. Its’ a ’77 Sunfish, a classic piece of Americana. More people learn to sail on the Sunfish than any other production boat made.

Jim tested the buoyancy of the boat by using a wooden mallet to tap on the boat. Not good. Sounds soft which means water at one time got into the boat. With an electronic moisture meter, yep, water definitely got into the boat at one time.

Sunfish in good condition. Jim valued the boat at $550. Mike then quickly flipped the boat and sold it to Jim for $500.

Profit Scorecard:

Joe P: $5,015
Mike Braiotta: $800
Chris Morelli & Tad Eaton: $105
Candy Olsen & Courtney Wagner: $0

Do you think Joe P inflated the value of merchandise in his unit?

Please leave your insightful opinion in the comment box below.

Storage Wars: New York – Candy & Courtney Dance to Pitiful $10 Profit!

January 2, 2013

Chuck G.

Storage Wars New York

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Storage Wars: New York: Season 1, Episode 1: “Beg, Borough, or Steal.”

Auction held at Brooklyn, New York.

If you find a storage unit up for auction full of merchandise that’s part of your passion, that’s your ticket to success.

Uh, well, it usually works that way.

In this episode, passion struck gold for one and for another uh, a profit to buy two cups of coffee, if that.

Candy hit a curb on the drive to the auction, oops. She needs to adjust to the new banana van. Chris and Tad could not agree on what defined a good locker. Mike drank Pepto-Bismol like water; had slight food poisoning. Joe P believed he possessed a sixth sense.

Joe P: I have ESP. Extra Storage Perception.

We’ll see…

1^st Storage Unit
Deep and cramped, as if someone threw their art gallery business inside then left the country. Art supplies in rubber tubs, paintings, frames, pair of speakers, and tools. However, this was an art depot by definition.

Mr. ESP loved art. Sick Guido just had to have it to have it. Joe P entered only one bid and won the storage unit at $1,500.

Mike: The “P” in Joe P stands for, “Pissing me off!”

Joe P dug through his unit with a helper. Found a drum set, coffee table, modern chair, and a truckload of art. He took a few paintings and photographs to Arnet Gallery to have them appraised.

His ESP worked. Joe had three Chen Chow Young print photographs. Valued at $3,000, $5,000, and a piece titled “Personal Utopia” valued at $7,000. His passion for art was his ticket to success.

2^nd Storage Unit
Three rubber containers and two trash bags. Boxes of shoes visible in one opened trash bag. Fashionistas Candy & Courtney loved shoes. However Chris and Tad would make them over pay at $155 for the locker.

Any high-end shoes? Just one. A hand-crafted Phil Laduca tap dance shoe. Hand-crafted. Made in Italy with a t-strap. Same brand tap shoe worn by dancers on Broadway. Problem? Valued only at $80-$100.

Lesson: Don’t let your passion exceed the value of the locker.

3^rd Storage Unit
Frat party mess. What’s wrong with these New Yorkers? If you store stuff in a locker… pack it neat or at least try. Joe P took one look, he’s out. Mike’s out. Gals were out.

Candy: The only thing vintage in here is the dust. No, thanks.

That left Chris and Tad, or at least Tad. He kept bidding. Chris told him to STOP! Tad would not listen. Won the locker for $525. What did they find?

J-U-N-K.

That’s why the other players stepped away. One item however would keep Tad out of the dog house. Tech Grill custom-made and brand, spanking new. Grill heats up to 800°F which is as close as a home consumer can achieve to a restaurant quality sear on meat. Appraised at $1,675.

And no, that locker had nothing to do with passion, just luck.

Profit Scorecard:

Joe P: $16,450
Chris Morelli & Tad Eaton: $1,250
Candy Olsen & Courtney Wagner: $10
Mike Braiotta: $0

Candy and Courtney really wanted that unit, but do you think they should have dumped it on Chris and Tad?

Please leave your creative comments in the box below.

Container Wars: Meet the Cast

January 1, 2013

Chuck G.

Container Wars

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Container Wars picks up on the popularity of similar shows like Storage Wars or Auction Hunters. Rather than focusing on storage units, however, the show examines a different type of auction – an international commercial shipping port.

Participants are experts from different auction and resale fields. They must compete against each other to win the contents of large shipping containers. Unlike other auction shows, this one has very high stakes and the bidding can reach extremely high levels. The general philosophy of “more is better” is certainly at work in this newest offering from TruTV.

How the Show Works

Whenever items are shipped internationally they are subject to certain taxes and fees. The person who receives the cargo is responsible for paying these costs. If the fees are not paid or the cargo is left unclaimed for 15 days, the items can be transferred to a warehouse for storage. After being stored for six months without being claimed, the goods are sold off at public auction.

These auctions are often not widely advertised. In many cases, the people who attend the auctions are those who are already “in the know” through being related to the industry or shipping company. Container Wars capitalizes on this unknown facet of the auction industry to create an exotic and high-stakes setting for its show.

Unlike storage units, which usually include normal household items and the occasional rare find; shipping containers offer a wider array of goods. Nearly anything can be shipped commercially, and this makes the containers worth more than a storage unit. The chance of profits is higher, but the cost – and risk – is higher as well. This provides the show with its unique hook.

Container Wars Cast

John Kunkle – An auctioneer from South Beach, California, John has experience in running auctions for galas, benefits, antique sales and more. This experience makes it easy for him to whip up a frenzy at auction, which helps drive up prices and keep the show exciting. In his free time, this 30-year auction veteran likes to ride motorcycles and spend time with his family.

Penny Daily – Hailing from Georgia, Penny is the other charismatic auctioneer on the show. Outspoken and uncensored, Penny is accustomed to keeping up with the big leagues, and she won’t take trouble from anyone. When not running auctions, she works at a psychiatric facility, where her auction skills help deal with conflict every day.

Ty & Mo – Fan favorites, this Georgian duo have been attending auctions of all kinds since the 90s. Both former bouncers, these best friends use their intimidating demeanor and size to their advantage. There’s more to these guys than meets the eye, though: Mo is soft-spoken and eloquent, and Ty spent some time in culinary arts school.

Matthew Gaus – Matt is fast-talking, energetic and maybe a little crazy. With seven college degrees and a lifetime of experience, he certainly brings a unique perspective to the show. He’s notoriously paranoid and trusts no one until a sale is finalized.

Shlomi, Eyal and Uzi – A trio of business partners from Israel, these three are usually called “The Kids.” They met young and immediately met success from a high-end fashion and retail business. These multi-lingual businessmen have a competitive edge and lots of experience flipping goods of nearly any description.

Jason Hughes – The newcomer to the auction scene, Jason used to own a restaurant in Virginia and acted as a MC at local comedy clubs. All that changed when he inherited some money and started investing it in auctions. He’s a Southerner through-and-through, and his easy-going charm sets him apart from the pack.

Deana Molle – As the only woman bidder, Deana has her work cut out for her when it comes to standing up to the boys. She has no trouble standing up for herself, though, and she has a lifetime of auction experience thanks to her automotive industry father. This former beauty pageant competitor is also easy on the eyes, which certainly helps her get her way.

Container Wars has six episodes so far in the first season. It premiered in January of 2013 and has already ignited quite a fan following. While many fans are enthusiastic in their support, Container Wars does have a large number of complaints about its realism. Fans, undoubtedly skeptical after the Storage Wars revelation, are eager to cry foul about any unrealistic deals in the show. Whether Container Wars will gain the necessary footing to become the next mega-hit remains to be seen.

Please leave your insightful opinions in the comment box below.

Storage Wars: Texas: Meet the Cast

December 1, 2011

Chuck G.

Storage Wars Texas

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A&E’s Storage Wars: Texas spawns as the first spin-off of this very successful storage auctions reality TV franchise. New series set to debut December 6, 2011.

Premise: The show follows a group of storage auction buyers as they travel throughout the BIG Lone Star state.

Auctioneer Walt Cade

Graduate of the prestigious Texas Auction Academy, Walt conducts over 300 auctions per year in the Southern US and Caribbean. Known for his Texas style attire: cowboy hat, big belt buckle, boots, and customized shirts. His catch phrases: “Hammer Up!” and “Until next time, Hammer Down!”

Lesa Lewis – “The Boss”

Raspy voice with a sharp-edge personality, she began buying storage units in 2006. Lesa may not have deep pockets, but her catch phrase “Bring It!” makes it apparent she’s not afraid to play with the big boys. Lesa owns Again and Again Resale in Crockett, Texas. Her tough-as-nails exterior matches her Hell’s Angel inner soul; you do not want to get in her way.

Jerry Simpson

Employee and friend of Lesa since 2008. He keeps her grounded as she keeps him busy hauling merchandise out of the lockers. Jerry quick to complain about many things but he knows not to undermine Lesa’s authority.

Victor Rjesnjansky – “The Outsider”

Born and bred New Yorker left the Big Apple to relocate to Tyler, Texas. He owns a consignment store and holds estate sales. Victor talks a big game and dresses more cosmopolitan than casual. He’s charming, well-built, and not afraid to let you know he’s good-looking.

Ricky Smith & Clinton “Bubba” Smith – “The Rangers”

Ricky and Bubba (nephew of Ricky) own and operate a warehouse in Lampass, Texas. Ricky the veteran auction hunter with about 40 years of experience. He’s difficult to understand as he speaks backwoods country talk. But Ricky makes it perfectly clear when he’s up to buy a locker. Bubba under his tutelage helps with the grunt work as well as with his knowledge of electronics. Both are country boys with deep pockets.

Morris “Moe” Prigoff – “The Doc”

Foot doctor turned auction hunter, but he’s not ready to give up his practice to hunt for treasures. Moe has been collecting modern furniture and antiques for over 30 years and owns an exclusive antique gallery. Don’t take him seriously, because he doesn’t. He’s an eccentric dresser and his sneakers are out of this world.

Will the spin-off capture the attention and ratings as the original Storage Wars? Time will tell but one thing is for sure, everything they do in Texas is BIG, so expect big lockers, big arguments, and big dramas!

Please leave your insightful opinions in the comment box below.

Storage Hunters: Jesse Fights Brandon

June 21, 2011

Chuck G.

Storage Hunters

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Storage Hunters: Season 1, Episode 2: “Bloody Battles.”

Brandon and Lori Bernier play it smart. Before they attend storage auctions they research who rented the locker, what they did for a living, and where they lived. Rest of the cast, nothing to write home about.

1^st Storage Unit
Boxes full of toys, though boxes not in the best shape. Doesn’t mean the toys were not collectible. Jesse knew Berniers did their research, so if they’re interested, so was he.

Berniers vs. Jesse, bid shot up quick but it was the Berniers for the win at $900.

Unlike other reality storage auction shows the winners immediately enter their storage units. Berniers found a Fran Dresher talking doll (big whoop), baseball signed by Alan Thicke (another big whoop), few vintage toys, comic books, and a genuine Lionel train (now that’s a whoop!).

Also unlike other storage auction reality shows the auction hunters do their own appraisals. Lionel train made of enamel. Placard underneath train displayed the full “Lionel” name instead of just the “L” which predates train before 1940s. Mint condition and original valued at $800-$1,000.

2^nd Storage Unit
Tires, table saw, rims, and tons of tools. Lots of “ooohs,” and “aahs” for this locker.

Berniers were out because owner went jail. The couple worried if items inside the locker might be stolen goods. No one else shared their concern.

Sean the Auctioneer: If you’re looking to open up your own NASCAR pit stop, this is your chance.

Sean started the bid at $800… Ka-Chow! But this locker was Jesse’s all the way at $2,300.

Jesse dug through the unit with Sean (that’s different to have auctioneer enter the locker). They found four BMW rims, late 90s 3-series, estimated valued at around $500. Four vanity wheels maybe at $200-$300. Craftsman big red tool cabinet and miscellaneous car items. Sean quipped items might have belonged to a chop shop. Ya, think? Did Fonzie-Jesse care? Uh, no.

3^rd Storage Unit
Stank! Crowd covered their noses, it was that bad.

Furniture, fans, small appliances, boxes, and miscellaneous household goods, but it all stank! That turned away a lot of bidders.

Sean begged people to bid. He got one bid at $25 but it was Brandon who won at $50. Inside the unit he found a classic “Pong” game worth at least $280.

The highly collectible item however was a first generation Mac computer. The back label on the computer mouse read M0100 which classified this as one of the first Macs in production. With computer, mouse and keyboard, rare to find complete set, valued at $500.

4^th Storage Unit
Pool tabled covered by a cloth, mattress, flat-screen TV, boxes, table, and a chair. Pretty sparse for a big locker. Berniers were out because of the cost to move the pool table, but that didn’t scare Papa Bear.

Lori: Papa Bear he’s like a wild card. He’ll bid on anything at anytime.

Papa Bear won the locker for $2,600. The pool table was made of solid wood, which was a good sign, but it was also HEAVY. Papa Bear drove to the auction in his ’51 Plymouth. Hmmm, how is he going to fit that pool table into his car. Papa Bear said he jumped the gun on that one. Doh.

5^th Storage Unit
Low budget film director owned the locker. Huge alien prop, movie props, boxes, and filing cabinet. Brandon decided to spook Jesse by nagging him to bid. The Fronze was not amused. Bid war and in-your-face battle escalated. Brandon did distract Jesse enough to win the locker at $3,100.

Jesse called Lori a (bleep). Staff had to immediately intervene, separated the two men. Jesse said he was fine but then charged toward Brandon.

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Brandon: My plan worked, but I’m not letting anyone disrespect my wife.

Jesse shoved Brandon against the door of a locker. Took a couple of staff members to pry the two hot-heads apart. Jesse spouted a few choice metaphors then eased off.

This show is definitely not Storage Wars…

Brandon and Lori dug through unit. Camera cases were empty. Filing cabinet, empty. Lori found a canvas bag. Inside a Sony HD camera, newer model, estimated value at $4,000. Also found audio equipment valued at $3,000.

Berniers took the alien prop for appraisal at a prop shop. Alien prop was from the second Alien movie. It’s not the mold for the prop, but the core of the alien suit, which goes inside the mold. The prop was devalued because it had been altered from its original form. Appraised at $2,000.

Profit Scorecard:

Brandon & Lori: $5,080
Jesse McClure: $1,000+
Papa Bear: ?

Do you think the fight was real or staged beforehand?

Let us know what you thought of this reality show compared to other storage auction reality shows in the comment box below.

Storage Hunters: Meet the Cast

June 14, 2011

Chuck G.

Storage Hunters

1 Comment

TruTV catapults into the storage auction reality pool, but instead of featuring the buyers as they bid for defaulted storage units, it’s the auctioneer who holds the spotlight. Format of each episode features four storage units up for auction.

Auctioneer Sean Kelly

Military veteran who worked as a translator and interrogator during Desert Storm. Life as a civilian he helped launch nine magazines for United News and Media. Sean then became a development manager for The San Diego Reader.

During his off time, Sean embraced a new hobby as a stand-up comedian. He eventually opened for comedians such as Dennis Miller and Bob Saget.

The first auction Kelly conducted was a charity fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. With his new focus on stand-up and auctions, Sean left the business world to travel across the US conducting both storage and charity auctions.

As an auctioneer Sean is aggressive, foul-mouth, and off-the-wall entertaining.

Brandon Bernier & Lori Bernier

Brandon attended auctions when he was seventeen years old. A twenty year veteran of storage auctions makes him the most competitive of the group. He founded Beantown Bidders. He met Lori and they became an explosive business team traveling around the US attending auctions. They moved to Southern California to continue to expand their business.

Jesse McClure

He dons long Elvis-like sideburns but lacks the rock star’s charisma. Jesse has been buying and reselling merchandise since the age of eleven. McClure’s family owned and operated one of the largest antique malls in Los Angeles County. Jesse learned every aspect of resale from hosting garage sales to selling at swap meets.

Jesse is the youngest of the cast and over eager to prove himself as a serious buyer to others. He’s not afraid to cross the line, to overbid, or to engage in personal attacks.

Ron “Papa Bear” Kirkpatrick

It’s not what he’s good at; it’s what he’s NOT good at. He became a jack-of-all-trades when he lost his job. He discovered there was money to be made at storage auctions and began to attend them in and around Southern California.

Ron loves his low-rider and formed his own car club. He’s not the brightest crayon in the box, but if he wants a storage unit, nothing will get in his way, not even good ol’ common sense.

This is the only auction series with body guards who are clearly visible during the show. Is this a staged and scripted reality series? You decide.

Please leave your insightful thoughts in the comment box below.