Author - Chuck G.

What would Darth Vader keep in a storage unit?

He lived in a galaxy far, far, away…

Ruthless cyborg (part-human) was servant to the evil Galatic Empire and right-hand man of the Emperor.

During his relentless pursuit to destroy the rebel forces; Darthy (as I like to call him) might find the need to store a few personal items. Protect his valuables as it were. His imposing character coupled with his ominous breathing via respirator – not the personality type that could make friends.

Can you imagine Darth Vader asking a Stormtrooper,

“Hey, would you hold on to my spare lightsaber for a few days?”

Uh, no.

Vader was also estranged to his children, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia (he didn’t know he had a daughter until she was all grown up – sounds familiar, like many in America).

As the new Star Wars film is currently in preproduction; I can’t help but wonder what the Sith Lord would consider valuable to store.

Lightsabers

He designed his own lightsaber which utilized a synthetic crystal (just play along). Vader constructed his weapon with a polished black alloy hilt. An energy blade stretched about 4 feet in length. You gotta love the lightsaber duels. (Not so much the one where Obi-Wan Kenobi dies.) Distinctive hum with the movement of the light-blade. Crackled when two lightsabers made contact.

Darth Vader’s lightsaber illuminated with his second favorite color, red. You know, blood is his favorite… oh, never mind.

Black Capes

Sith Lord constantly surrounded by incompetent, Emperial Nazistic soldiers. Just imagine how many fools stepped on his cape as Vader walked about the ship (not that they lived to tell). Not to mention the terrain Darth Vader trekked in his pursuit to find his son: desert, snow, jungle, wrecked spaceships… it’s a wonder his cape stayed in tack. I imagine he would have several hundred made and stored inside a locker.

Meditation Pod

Come on now, who can live inside that heavy, chaffing black suit day in and day out without sweating like a Sith Hog. Anakin Skywalker (he hates that name) would store an extra pressurized life-support environment hyperbaric pod. Of course, he would need a large storage unit.

Mediation chamber flowed with oxygenated air that allowed him to unmask in comfort. Well, as comfortable as anyone could be sealed inside a metal egg. Good thing he was not claustrophobic.

Mask

Darth Vader’s mask was the center of his life-support system. Heavy rhythmic breaths filtered through his mask as a respiratory intake system.

Can’t live without it, therefore I imagine he would keep a few hundred of these unique life support system masks inside a storage unit. He would definitely choose a climate controlled self-storage facility.

What do you think Darth Vader would keep in a storage unit?

Please leave your creative comments in the box below.

Storage Wars: Canada: Boy Wore A Skirt

May 30, 2014

Storage Wars Canada

Storage Wars: Canada: Season 1, Episode 3, “You Just Got “Roy’d”!”

Paul hankered for Bogart to understand the business. Had his son take notes. Pick knowledge over material things. Bogart not interested. He hankered for cash.

Ursula hankered for luxury items. Cindy and Rick didn’t hanker at all. Their daughter Terra drove them to the auction. (Must be nice to have your own personal driver.) Roy hankered to buy a storage unit. Instigator hun-gry to make mon-ey.

Slight rain in forecast; but that didn’t stop the rain of words. Cindy called Ursula a “Prima Donna.” Roy called the Kennys “Dumb and Dumber.” Such a friendly bunch.

1^st Storage Unit
Holy Mother of God! Broken furniture, tossed about chairs, suitcase, and a plethora of boxes.

Borgart: Don’t bid on crap. Got it.

Roy didn’t hear Paul’s tip to hold back. Instigator won locker at $150.

Rick: Enjoy your $150 trip to the dump, Roy.

Instigator, time to dig. Filing cabinet – trash. Sofas – trash. Small appliance – trash. Pots & Pans – value. Finally. Time to make money. Antique fireplace log holder, laptop, wrist watch, DVD player, tool kit, Egyptian art, pair of green chairs, end table, and an old wooden bench with one broken leg.

Roy took his bench to a “hot cobbler” (his words, not mine). Shoe maker, in other words. She took one quick look. It’s a cobbler’s bench. Made with square nails which dated the bench to mid-late 1800s. Valued at $500.

2^nd Storage Unit
Crap Mini-Me. Horrid sofa, sporting goods, camping gear, mattress, and garbage bags.

No one wanted this trash can. Roy tossed a bid at $10. Paul thought to show his son how it’s done and placed a bid at $20. Roy dropped the locker on Paul. OMG! Bogart heard his money flushed down the toilet.

Paul: I just got Roy’d.

Yes you did! Father and son dug through their locker. Paul found a heater.

Bogart: For when we’re living in the street.

Paul found a tent.

Bogart: Well, at least we’re off the street.

What else? Old sewing machine, ice skates, and six backpacks/suitcases. Unique find – a bagpipe (only in Canada). Bogart bet that he would wear a kilt and play the bagpipes if they made $1,000 on the musical instrument. Paul called the bet at $500? Hold that bet.

Bagpipe collector stated their instrument was not high-end. However, reed barely used. Valued at $500. Time for the boy to wear a skirt.

3^rd Storage Unit
Elliptical exercise machine, bed, and old furniture. Ursula won at $375.

She found a wood screen, two tennis rackets, like-new ski boots, new-in-box exercise machine, armoire, cabinet, bed set minus foot board, and an antique record player.

Appraiser stated it was a Victor Victrola IV. Company made 600,000 of that model.

Ursula: That’s 599,000 too many.

What’s a worth? Dance first, please. Girl’s got some moves. Appraised at $200.

After all that song and dance, just $200! Yep. That’s it. Ursula had the notion to just keep her Victrola.

Profit Total:

Ursula Stolf: $1,345
Roy Dirnbeck: $1,090
Paul & Bogart Kenny: $880
Cindy Hayden & Rick Coffill: $0

Would you have bought Roy’s storage unit?

Please leave your insightful opinions in the comment box below.

Storage Wars: Canada: 1st Episode Recap

May 21, 2014

Storage Wars Canada

Storage Wars: Canada: Season 1, Episode: “Northern Lights. Northern Fights.”

Storage Wars’ first international spin-off landed in Canada. Huge country north of the US where nothing, ever, happens… except for storage auctions with trash-talking buyers. Maybe we rubbed off on the foreigners.

Players:

Roy Dirnbeck – “The Instigator” – He owns a successful courier business. Buys storage units as a hobby. Five years now and he’s hooked.

Ursula Stolf – “The Knock Out” – Runs an online business selling luxury items for women. She’s got the looks and she’s gonna work it.

Cindy Hayden & Rick Coffill – “The Veterans” – Twenty years experience and own their own thrift store. Cindy’s the pit bull. Ricky’s the puppy dog.

Paul & Bogart Kenny – “The High Roller and The Kid” – Paul’s a professional poker player. Side business storage auction buyer. He’s opened a new store and wants to pass the family business to his son.

Roy: “Pay your bills, or I’m gonna own your sh–. This is a game, and I don’t lose.”

Paul & Bogart: “We’re gonna go all-in.”

Cindy & Rick: “It’s a dog-eat-dog business.”

Ursula: “Don’t tell me can’t, because I can. Don’t tell me don’t, because I will.”

Auctioneer Don Reinhart calmly stated the rules:

1. Don’t go in
2. Don’t touch anything
3. Terms of auction – cash

Who grabbed everyone’s attention before auction? Lady in Red – Ursula. She may not have the experience, but she’s not invisible either.

1^st Storage Unit

Popcorn machine, speaker, cart, bar fridge, antique mirror, out-of-date fax machine, miscellaneous items, chairs, weed wacker, boom box, and huge item under a tarp.

Cindy, in a raspy voice that could cut through concrete, told Ursula to move along. Two women just met. Consider them frenemies.

Ursula: I think that bleached fried your brain and your manners.
Cindy: Watch out little girl. You’re now sitting at the grown up table.

RrreoowwW!

Short-lived cat fight. Roy won the locker at $1,300. What was under the tarp? Baby white grand piano.

Roy took the piano for appraisal. White piano a Young Chang made in Korea. Would need $1,000 to restore musical instrument. Value after at $5,000-$6,000.

Roy: Five grand? They’re playing my song.

2^nd Storage Pod

Wood table, refrigerator, entrance hallway table, marble table, picture frames, small wood end table, and obsolete computer monitor.

Bogart liked it but Paul thought it was crap.

Paul: Ten minutes on the job and he’s already an expert.
Bogart: Pfft. This isn’t so hard.

Nobody in their right mind wanted that storage pod, except for Bogart. Bid began at $25. Roy won at $100 then sold the storage pod to Bogart for $150.

Father and son rented a truck to load the whole freakin’ storage pod – never seen that done before. Paul knew a guy who owned a furniture store. Reluctantly, he bought the entire lot.

3^rd Storage Unit
Skis, sofas, punching bag, wooden chairs, small copy machine, and boxes. Cindy won at $550.

Ursula: I’m out. Can’t win against crazy.

Rick and Cindy found an antique machine inside a box. Appraiser stated it’s a mechanical point writer.

One of the first models. Transcribed printed text into Braille text for the blind. Condition, poor at best. Sold to appraiser for $150.

All in all… cat fight, big spender, rookie mistake. Sound familiar?

Profit Total:

Roy Dirnbeck: $3,940
Cindy Hayden & Rick Coffill: $390
Paul Kenny & Bogart Kenny: $250
Ursula Stolf: $0

What did you think of the new spin-off?

Please leave your creative comments in the box below.

Barry’d Treasure: Daredevil Barry

May 6, 2014

Barry'd Treasure

Barry’d Treasure: Season 1, Episode 8: “All About Evel.”

Barry Weiss jumped over 15 buses on his motorcycle!

Wait, I’ll get to that.

Buyer

Chris Agajanian, a friend of Barry, wanted a leather jumpsuit. Not a disco jumpsuit, mind you.

Evel Kneivel’s leathers (as they call it in the racing world). Evel was only the most famous daredevil in American history.

Buyer owned Evel’s helmet which was worn in 1975 on the daredevil’s last jump. That event was the highest rated televised episode on the Wide World of Sports.

Helmet was signed and given to Chris by the daredevil himself. He needed, craved, yearned for the leathers. (I laid it a bit thick.)

Shenanigans

The Collector sped off tangents during his hunt for an item. Show began with Kenny awarded a brown belt. (Who knew?) Barry awarded a white belt. (Who knew?) Kenny one step away from a black belt. Barry, well, too many steps to bother.

Sidekick also sidetracked Weiss into a recording studio. Kenny recorded a rap song, Who Would Have Ever Known That. Apparently, Kenny’s sensei was banging (his words, not mine) Barry’s cousin.

Does that mean they’re related? The Collector and King of Pralines. Weird family tree.

Next pit stop by Kenny as well. His friend Cory’s garage. What now? Kenny had Cory create an animated Barry Weiss Evel Knievel. That was cool.

The Hunt

Yoshi owned a motor shop. Also a fan of the daredevil’s memorabilia. He had a leather jumpsuit, but it wasn’t authentic. Barry needed a lead.

Barry: Who do you know that may know… who do you know that may know… who do you know… who do you know that may know… someone.

Wow, Barry, get it out already! Yoshi’s response.

Yoshi: That’s my friend, maybe you know.

O-M-G, just get on with it. Who?! (Yes, I know, “Who’s on first.”)

Bruce Meyer from Beverly Hills, that’s who. That information was only on a “need to know” basis, “you know.”

Seller

Meet Bruce Meyer. Bonafide collector of antique racing cars. His collection of motorcycles stacked 3-tiers on a wall.

Bruce did own leathers from Evel that he’d kept for thirty years. He went to retrieve it.

Hello! They’re not white leathers (most commonly photographed).

They’re blue leathers.

Barry: Oh, you got the blue ones. These were like his practice leathers. He jumped more time in these than an other leathers he’s owned.

The Deal

Barry arrived two hours late to the meet. Unbelievable. Chris and Bruce tad impatient. Weiss however was present. Time to show off the leathers. Chris looked at the cuffs. Right cuff engraved with the letter “E.” Left cuff engraved with the letter “K.” Tag inside read: Created Especially for Evel Kneivel by Tony Llad.

Chris: This is the real McCoy.

Negotiations uber fast. Offer $40,000 cash. Counter $50,000. DEAL!

Stunt

Time for Barry Weiss to jump over 15 buses to break Evel’s record. Chris and Bruce sat and watched for victory or for defeat. Chris even loaned Barry the Evel Knievel helmet.

Rev Engine · Accelerate · Ramp · J-U-M-P!

He did it! Barry broke Evel’s record. Weiss jumped over 15 buses. Oh, they were NOT real buses. Scaled down buses. Very scaled down buses. Okay, they were toys!

Did you watch any of Evel Knievel’s stunts on YouTube?

Please leave your creative comments in the box below.

Jarrod and Brandi: Married to the Job Recap

April 24, 2014

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Jarrod Schulz and Brandi Passante granted their fans access to their lives at work and at home in an A&E special:

Married to the Job.

Better suited title – Brandi’s Three Kids.

Inside their two-story home (without a white picket fence), two kids, one dog…

Jarrod (grown child) badgered Brandi for another birthday party. His mother created a Schulz tradition of the “birthday month” when he was five-years old. A month-long birthday celebration?

That’s every kid’s dream.
Jarrod’s not a kid.
Wait, hold that thought.
He drank coffee out of a toilet cup.

Say it with me – EW!

Their son Cameron (real child) struggled with Alegbra.
(You know, that math that you will never, like ever use again in your entire life.)

Cameron needed a desk to do his homework. Jarrod’s solution – get him a desk from the store.

Brandi: We have a rule Jarrod. We’re not suppose to bring stuff home from the store.
Jarrod: Well, it’s more of a guideline than a rule.
Brandi: Pretty sure it’s a rule.

Jarrod promised he would not bring a desk from the store and left.
Brandi shook her head. That was way too easy in her mind. He kept his word. Did not bring a desk from the store.

He brought a BAR to use as a desk from the store.

And men wonder why women have PMS.

Brandi’s voiceover intro to the special:

I met Jarrod when I was nineteen. And even then, he didn’t have hair. And then came Oops. And Oops again. They’re pretty cute, so we let ’em stick around. We lived with Jarrod’s mom for awhile. Something every girl dreams about. And then one day we went to a storage auction. And our lives changed. We opened a thrift store, so Jarrod could hire all of his dumb ass friends. Because, of course they didn’t have jobs. People say that a successful marriage, takes a lot of hard work. But let me tell you, even when you’re not married, it still feels like a full-time job.

Meanwhile, at the Now and Then thrift store…

Jarrod stated he worked 7 days a week, 11 months out of the year.
He needed his birthday month to detox.
Ready to bolt out the door.
But Shawn, his brother-in-law, advised him that they needed to discuss expenses and payroll.

Schulz displayed the enthusiasm of a bewildered rugrat (just go with it).

Back at the home front…

Cameron asked Brandi for help with Algebra.

$brandi-passante-cameron-schulz-math$ Perplexed as to why there would be letters along with numbers in math… Brandi told her son to “Google it.”

Brandi: I’m not sure what I would ever do if they shut down Google.

Welcome to Parenting101 in the 21^st century.

Jarrod urged both his son and daughter to finish their homework.

Jarrod: Cameron’s gonna have to learn there’s always gonna be homework. But birthday month comes only once a year.

So far the grown child has had two or three birthday parties (dang!).
Schulz wanted M-O-R-E!

Brandi: With anyone else, birthday month would scream “Mid-life Crisis.”
But with Jarrod, it means he still hasn’t grown up.

Off to Grandma Sue’s house…

Honey-baked ham. Cheesy potatoes. Beans.
Was it enough?
Uh, no.
Jarrod whined for another birthday party and cake.

Brandi gave him cake alright… shaped as a horse’s ass!

Brandi: As a mother I have two goals:
Make sure that the college money doesn’t turn into bail money;
And to make sure Cameron doesn’t turn out like Jarrod.

High goals for any mother (ahem).

At a local bar…

Christina, saucy-single-brunette and best friend to Brandi, suggested a tutor.
Not for the kids.
For Brandi.
Best friend even arranged for the interviews.

Aw, how thoughtful.

Christina suggested that Brandi hire a super-banging HOT tutor. Brandi cocked her head. Uh, wait-a-minute. Was this interview for a tutor or speed dating for Christina?

Back at the home…

Jarrod stole his mother’s free-standing pool (she was glad to part with it).
He set up the pool with his dumb ass friends (Brandi’s words, not mine) in front of his house.
Bought a keg. Hired a DJ. Catered food. Girls in bikinis. PAR-TAY!

Time to ring up Brandi.

If you can’t beat them, join them. Brandi did a hand-stand on the keg and drank beer. She even got-jiggy-with-it.

Until rent-a-cop busted the party.

Next day…

Cameron presented a math paper to Jarrod.

Grade – F.

Jarrod: I really screwed up.
While I was running around acting like a kid, my kids needed me to be a dad.

Time for action.

Jarrod had Shawn tutor Cameron.
Finally, the kid understood algebra.

What about his daughter Payton?
He had her plunge the toilet at the thrift store.

Welcome to Parenting101 in the 21^st century.

Please leave your creative and fun thoughts about the special in the comment box below.

List of Flip-for-Profit Reality Series

February 4, 2014

How many storage auction, flip-for-profit, or picker/thrift reality series can you name off the top of your head?

Probably a just a handful.

But there are dozens of “scavenge for collectibles” reality series.

Many are ongoing while others have been cancelled, however you may view episodes or clips on the network’s website or on YouTube.

From pickers, thrifters, toy hunters, auctions hunters, and scavengers.

A little bit of this and that for everyone.

Here’s a list by network for you.

A&E Network

Storage Wars • Storage Wars Texas • Storage Wars New York
Auctions hunters compete to buy storage units.

Flipping Boston • Flipping San Diego • Flipping Vegas
Buy, fix, and flip houses for profit.

History Channel

American Pickers: Travel the back roads of US to pick collectibles from sheds, homes, stores, and fields.
Cash Cowboys (H2): Canadian pickers search for collectible in garages, attics, sheds, barns, and shops.

Lifetime Channel

Sister Pickers: Pair of females travel the US in search of antiques and rare collectibles for their home decor store.

Science Channel

Oddities•Oddities San Francisco•Odd Folks Home
Search fleas, auctions, and antique shows for unique and unusual artifacts.

Spike TV

Auction Hunters: Pair of auction hunters buys storage units.
Flip Men: Purchase foreclosed houses at auction, remodel, and flips for profit.
Savage Family Diggers: Family travel across the US searching for buried artifacts.
Scappers: Three competing groups collect and sell scrap metal.
Thrift Hunters: Duo search through thrift stores to find collectible items.

Travel Channel

Baggage Battles: Buyers attend lost baggage auctions, police auctions, and estate auctions.
Toy Hunter: Renowned toy dealer searches for collections of rare toys.

TruTV

Container Wars: Buyers compete at auction to buy merchandise inside shipyard containers.
Storage Hunters: Auctions hunters compete to buy storage units.

These are a few of the flip-for-profit reality series on cable television. Which shows are your favorite? Which shows do you plan to watch?

Please leave your insightful opinion about this list of shows in the comment box below.

Storage Wars Texas: Jenny Grumble’s Scar

February 3, 2014

Refurbishing merchandise and cleaning out storage units have one thing in common: OUCH!

Jenny Grumbles, one of the stars of Storage Wars: Texas, at work at her Uptown Country Home store, achieved a nice little scar on her forehead.

No stitches.

The scar was “glued.”

So what happened to Jenny in this nice little OUCH moment? Unclear, but she did state that maybe she should have gotten a desk job. Nah! She loves her work in upscaling furniture pieces.

When you refurbish furniture, a million things could go wrong.

When you clean out a storage unit, a lot of things could go wrong.

The dangers of cleaning out a storage unit are clear. Most people who store their merchandise usually stack, or should I say TOSS their merchandise precariously one item on top of another. Cram as many items into a small space and then forfeit on payment on the locker.

That’s where you come in. You, as the auction hunter, must then untangle the mess without having a piece of furniture hit you on the head.

Just ask Barry Weiss.

How many times did Barry have that TIMBER! moment as he removed items from a locker? He was slammed against a wall by a mattress. Had a microwave topple and tip over, barely missed his head. And the list goes on.

Now most auction hunters do not toss items out of a locker like Barry, who did that for pure entertainment (and yes, we were entertained). But if you wear a few pieces of protective gear whether your refurbish, DIY, or clean out storage units, it might will help to prevent that OUCH moment.

Wear thick leather gloves or heavy duty protective gloves
Wear a thick hat with brim
Wear worker boots
Wear long sleeve shirt
Wear jeans or thick pants

While there are many regions with hot climates and you’d rather clean out a storage unit wearing shorts; just be sure your locker is not packed in such a way as things might topple and tip over you.

The long sleeves are to prevent scratches. Think of how many times you might have moved into a new apartment or home and you garnered scratches from carrying a boxes. Jeans to protect your legs; hat your head; boots your feet from both items falling and live rats/mice that might scamper inside your locker. Ew!

If you do not want to wear most of the protective gear, at least wear “gloves.”

There’s a saying – Handle Trash, Get a Rash.

Okay, I just made that up, but I have seen in my experience how handling trash can give a rash to certain people who are more susceptible to germs. You may like a room to be dusty, but do not underestimate how bacteria likes to collect as well.

Not every storage hunter has a partner or buddy or family member to help them unload merchandise. It’s up to you to protect yourself from that OUCH moment.

I think Jenny might invest in a new thick hat in the very near future.

Have you garnered a scar while refurbishing merchandise or cleaning out a storage unit?

Please leave your insightful opinion in the comment box below.

Top 3 Barter Clothing Websites

January 31, 2014

Storage Auctions 101

What type of merchandise you will most commonly find inside a storage unit? Household items, of course.

The second most found merchandise is clothing and lots of it for all ages and many different sizes.

If you find designer clothing you may get a quick flip online or at a flea market or swap meet. The rest is a guess as to how long it will take to sell the clothing for profit, or to just break even.

But what if you don’t want to go through the trouble of selling clothes despite the brand name?

There are two alternatives. One is to give the clothing away to charity, which isn’t really a step toward profit. The second alternative is to BARTER or TRADE an item or items for something you can sell or maybe something you want for yourself or for family and friends.

Bartering is a tool that A&E’s Barter Kings, Antonio Palazzola and Steve McHugh, use to trade items for better items without the exchange of money. They actually shy away from any currency exchange as though it were the plague.

Your storage unit may have boxes or rubber bins full of clothes and you have no clue to its value or rather not put in the time and effort to resale. Consider to barter or trade for better items or maybe even consign.

Here’s a short list of the top barter clothing websites.

1. Swap Style

This is a higher end barter forum which was founded by fashion designer Emily Chesher in 2004. It’s a worldwide community that swaps clothes, shoes, accessories, and cosmetics. They also have a small section for books and electronics. You do not need to pay a membership fee.

2. Rehash

A forum to trade clothes and accessories with other members. It’s also a social type of network that’s eco-friendly. You can request items and attend swap events. Membership is free to interested parties.

3. Thred Up

This consignment forum you send your merchandise to them and receive 80% of item’s sale price after it’s sold. Primary focus of the forum is boy’s and girl’s clothing. Also included are Juniors and Women fashion. Membership is free.

They have a unique clothing calculator at Thred Up that may give you an idea if your clothing is worth trading or better off at Salvation Army.

Let us know what you think about bartering or trading in the comment box below.

Terapeak Tool Evaluates What to Sell and For How Much

January 30, 2014

Storage Auctions 101

The resale of items is where many auction hunters, thrifters, or pickers, will lose money. You may ask too much for an item or too little.

Terapeak is an eCommerce analytic tool that will assist you to determine what the best items are to sell on Amazon or eBay and how to list and price your merchandise.

Unfortunately, it’s not a free service, but you do get a 7-day free trial.

On eBay Terapeak not only shows you when to sell an item but also which keywords offer the most return.

You can also learn more about your competitor’s eBay listings and see what strategies they used to successfully sell their items.

This analytic tool will also help you to understand what are the best items to sell on Amazon (as oppose to selling everything on eBay) and how to list and price your merchandise there for a quick flip for profit.

I know what you’re thinking, eBay already has a free Listing Analytics tool. Guess who created it? Yep, Terapeak.

Therefore, what you get for free, every other seller does as well. If you are serious about optimizing the best price for your merchandise for optimal profit, you might want to try a tool that only the top sellers use.

Jason T. Smith and Bryan Goodman, stars from Thirft Hunters, recommend this eCommerce analytical tool to get the best value for your merchandise.

One of the cool features is that you can research an item back for an an entire year to see the trend of how this item sold and when during that year was the best time to sell that item.

If you are a very active auction hunter, thrifter or picker, try their 7-day free trial and then let us know the pros and cons of using this software.

Please leave your creative thoughts in the comment box below.

Pickers vs. Thrifters

January 29, 2014

Storage Auctions 101