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Storage Wars: New York: Season 2, Episode 15: “East River Gold.”

John Luke could not keep his eyes off the scenery long enough to find the auction.

Eyes on the road!

Buyers had similar strategies for the day’s auctions. Both Mike and Joe P looked for high end merchandise.  Chris and Tad looked buy everything in sight (they’re bound to find something that way right?). Candy and Courtney looked to score on their home turf.

BUT (you knew there was a but) a new player added to the mix to shake things up.

Giant in a salmon shirt, otherwise known as Big Steve, had tempers flare before the auction began (save energy for the bid wars). However, Candy’s animal inspired ensemble meant the claws were out. The gals poised to fight for their own.

Chris: You know what, she looks like Wilma squeezed in Pebble’s dress.

1st Room

Candy’s on the prowl. Ready to bite anyone who got in her way. Guys engrossed in a fight all on their own. Steve shouted in the packed storage facility. Good way to rattled everyone’s nerves. Auction frenzied. Steve’s strategy clearly to outbid everybody. He did so, but overpaid at $900. Price left Courtney aghast.

Steve found several nice furniture pieces. Real find was a metal detector.

At appraisal, Steve dug for gold underwater then triumphantly jumped into the waves as he learned the metal detector was worth $800. Money makes money, right Steve?

2nd Room

Talk about the room from Hell. Storage unit packed to the brim with garbage bags. Mike wanted no part in that mess. Candy on the other hand found a few items of interest. She wanted this locker.

Courtney: I think that dress is cutting off the oxygen to Candy’s brain.

Once again Steve rubbed Chris and Tad the wrong way when he tried to cut in line to view the room. The duo agreed to bid him up then stick the nightmare room on the Giant. That didn’t go exactly as planned. Chris accidentally won at $550. John Luke couldn’t believe it. Tad beyond pissed off.

Chris: You know you could take s*** back here and nobody would even notice.

Luckily the guys found an Italian steamer in fairly decent condition. Appraised at $1,200. They made back their money and then some. Way to go guys!

3rd Room 

More yelling! Is this an auction or family therapy gone wrong?

Mike: I don’t know what the Hell’s wrong with these guys today, but I like it. 

Once more Candy and Courtney interested, but the price quickly skyrocketed. Joe P bought a nondescript room save for a dresser in the back that caught his eye. He found a unique item – a nautical style liquor dispenser. Very cool, but not very expensive. An expert appraised it for a mere $100.

Candy’s tiger dress left her without a bite of the action.

Profit Totals:

Big Steve: $740
Chris Morelli & Tad Eaton: $680
Joe P: LOSS -$700
Candy Olsen & Courtney Wagner: $0
Mike Braiotta: $0

What did you think of the new player, Big Steve?

Please leave your insightful opinions in the box below.

Storage Wars: New York: Season 2, Episode 5: “Da Bronx Tale.”

Welcome to the Bronx! New location for auctioneer John Luke. This hard hitting part of the city proved to be unfamiliar territory for most of the buyers. Mike felt right at home as this was his old neighborhood. Even the auctioneer had some trouble finding the auction. Maybe he needs a GPS? No wait, he’s got one and still managed to get lost. Buyers wisely adjusted their strategies accordingly.

Chris and Tad aimed to stay focused – buy smart (laugh, laugh). As such, Joe P brought another pair of hands to help him spot designer vintage clothing. Meanwhile, Candy and Courtney’s impending pop up shop at a burlesque show meant they needed merchandise. ASAP! Not even Mike’s warning that the Bronx doesn’t take kindly to strangers deterred our fashionistas.

Candy: I have some wheat thins I can give them.

What?  It makes perfect sense. Just nod along.

1^ST Room

Messy, dirty, with nothing of value in plain site. Candy and Courtney placed a few bids solely to empty Mike’s pockets. The Hustler won at $125. Joe P relieved it wasn’t his mess to deal with. Fortunately for Mike, he proved the naysayers wrong when he dug out a brand new gas powered remote control boat. Appraised for $900 – cha ching!

Mike: After you dump a body in the river you get hungry. You need a picnic.

Everyone knows hauling dead bodies is hard work. Let’s just hope that’s not his workout regimen.

2^nd Room

Bit of a quarrel. C&C didn’t quite agree as to the quality of the clothing. Fortunately, another buyer jumped in to bid. Stopped a cat fight.  Joe P however, bumped everyone’s bid and won at $350. Chance to find some buried treasure.

Chinese checkers board isn’t normally what comes to mind when one thinks of treasure. He took the game board to Connecticut. Appraiser valued at $3,700.

3^rd Room

With the pressure of the pop up show weighing on them; Candy flirts with Chris prior to the third auction. C&C spot a gumball machine that sparked their decision to bid. But wait – Tad bid on the room, too! Chris visibly upset Tad didn’t confer with him. But then Chris realized Tad up the bids to dump the room on the gals. Candy and Courtney won at $350.

Chris: Who knew he had it in him.

Unfortunately, aside from the gumball machine there wasn’t anything of value. Their pockets took a hit albeit temporarily. The pop up shop was a huge hit for Candy and Courtney. They earned back what they spent. Candy was a huge hit at the burlesque show (that woman knows how to work it).

On an unrelated note, does anyone have any insights into Mike’s obsession with Rodney Dangerfield? Seriously, what’s up with that?

Mike: No respect!

Profit Totals:

Joe P: $4,300
Mike Braiotta: $890
Candy Olsen and Courtney Wagner: -$300 +$1,300 = $1,000
Chris Morelli and  Tad Eaton: $0

Do you think Mike gets no respect?

Please leave your interesting opinions in the comment box below.

Storage Wars: New York: Season 2, Episode 4: “Hi Text…Hi Jinx.”

In this episode of Storage Wars New York, the devilish duo of Candy & Courtney devised a scheme to distract and ultimately outbid the other buyers. Prior to auction, they discussed the failure of their plan to produce substantial results thus far. To beat their competition, they came up with their own strategy for the day.

Courtney: When the guys notice me bidding, I’ll text Candy and she’ll go in for the kill.
Candy: They’re not even going to know what’s coming.

Tad left Chris to fly solo, but not without specific instructions as to what to look for – dust and well packed boxes. Mike drove a box truck. He expected to come away with plenty of materials. JoeP acknowledged that in order to make money, one has to spend money. Needless to say, all did not go as planned for the parties involved. But let’s be honest, it rarely does.

1st Room

Auctioneer John Luke kicked off the show with the first room. Candy & Courtney quickly divided and conquered as the former distracted JoeP with a hair flip while she inconspicuously placed a bid. However, Mike was on his game. He matched Courtney’s bids and didn’t appear to back down. Time for diversion. Courtney texted Candy. Courtney stopped her bids. Candy slipped in the last stealth bid. Candy won! Mike left with whiplash.

Mike: That’s dirty pool.

While Candy & Courtney dug up the treasures; they came across a device resembling a rolling mechanism. Perhaps for making pizza. Gals took it to have it appraised.

Alas, the pizza maker told C&C it’s not a cooking utensil. Pizza maker sent them to his friend the hairdresser. Guess it might have something to do with crimping hair. Hairdresser subsequently sent Candy & Courtney off to a designer. He ultimately solved the mystery of their find – it’s an old fluting iron for making pleats in fabric. It’s not worth much. Classic case of much ado about nothing.

2nd Room

For Chris and the second locker – it’s love at first site. Guess what? Room packed with exactly what Tad did not want. These boxes were about as far away from well packed as it gets. Of course, Chris just couldn’t resist the mystery of this haphazard storage unit and won. Inside he found a silver platter with cups. He realized he would need more information to determine its value.

Tad arrived and scolded his partner for doing exactly the opposite of what he asked him to do. Their only shot at making money was the silver platter and cups.

Tad: Chris might have gotten lucky here, but it certainly wasn’t skill.

Unfortunately, at appraisal the silver platter and cups worth only $251. They did learn that this set was meant for pouring wine.

That left both JoeP and Mike without storage units (the boys grudgingly admitted the girls snagged a good room). They’re each determined to not walk away empty handed. For one of them, the third locker panned out.

3rd Room

JoeP was determined to win the and did exactly that. He came across what was perhaps the most interesting item in this episode. While opening a container, he found an item he thought was used to hold tools. Wrong! It was a portable solar panel. Green item that yielded JoeP plenty of green in the form of cash. At appraisal, he was pleased to find its worth was $1,400.

Mike, who never got the chance to score a locker, left with an empty truck.

Mike: I hate Brooklyn.

No matter, another day will bring another auction.

Profit Totals:

JoeP: $2,050
Candy Olsen & Courtney Wagner: $1,390
Mike Braiotta: $0
Chris Morelli & Tad Eaton: LOSS-$34

What did you think of C&C’s secret text bid?

Please leave your insightful thoughts in the comment box below.

Storage Wars: New York:  Season 1, Episode 5: “Long Island City Of Dreams.”

It was a rainy day in Long Island but that didn’t damper anybody’s spirits as the buyers came with some serious game plans. In a daring business move, Courtney and Candy rented a work space. Good idea? Bad idea? C&C came with a fierce determination to make bank fast due to unprecedented overhead.

Chris and Tad, low on on inventory, came to Long Island to fill the store. Mike came with a strategy to step up his game.

Mike B: I brought my balls today.

Let’s not consider where he keeps them when he doesn’t bring them.

Joe P. came for one reason – buy a room to make a LOT of money.

1^st Room

Boxes. Only real interest garnered from C&C.  Chris and Tad decided to make them pay for it and up the bid. Candy won at $185. Gals found vintage drive-in speakers. Let’s get popcorn and have speakers appraised. Unfortunately, vintage speakers didn’t have a loud volume of value. Appraised at $50.

Wop, wop!

2^nd Room

Duel between Joe P and Mike. Potentially high end items in this room that peaked the guys’ interest. In the end, Joe P paid $1,000.

Joe P: Mike’s like a mosquito – one of these days I’m gonna have to swat him.

While clearing out the storage unit, Joe P noted potentially fruitful furniture. Real find was a jewelry steamer. He had it appraised. Valued at $600.

3^rd Room

In plain sight,  a few sinks along with miscellaneous goods. Bor-ing! Mike however saw potential. He snagged the room for $150.

What a steal this one turned out to be!

He scored big time when he discovered a two person Jacuzzi tub worth at least $2,500. Fondue maker he took to have appraised by a chef. Professional appliance was fully functional. Great condition. Valued at $1,400.

Chris: They’re sinks! What the hell are we gonna do with sinks?!

Once again Chris & Tad walked empty handed – better luck next time guys!

Profit Totals:

Mike Braiotta: $4,768
Joe P: $2,200
Candy Olsen and Courtney Wagner: $60
Chris Morelli and Tad Eaton: $0

Would you have passed at the storage unit with boxes?

Please leave your creative comments in the box below.

Storage Wars: New York: Season 1, Episode 2: “Lady Luck Comes to Harlem.”

Buyers headed to Harlem to try their luck. Would luck be a lady or burn the buyers like a scorned mistress… Let’s see.

Mike specifically wanted a room that would allow him to flip merchandise fast. His competition, never one to be boring, Joe P. He wanted a room that ‘talked’ to him. Oh if walls could talk, what these storage facilities would say.

Everyone’s favorite  gals Courtney & Candy recently purchased a van for $3,000! They wanted to find vintage clothes to fill it to make their money back.

Candy: Your cleavage, our heels…distract then go in for the kill.

Meanwhile, Tad wanted Chris to not get carried away and overbid on a crummy room.

1^st Room

Courtney & Candy found what appeared to be the perfect room. It was a messy with tons of bags and a funky purple fridge. Needless to say, not something the other buyers were interested in. Courtney snagged it for a mere $125. Looking to find a potential buried treasure, the girls pulled a halfway decent vintage fur from a garbage bag. Time for appraisal.

At a boutique, the shopkeeper gave them fantastic news. Their 70-80’s era fur coat was worth about $3,000! And that should cover the expense on purchasing the banana van.

Courtney: We can put so many tiny bottles of alcohol in there.

Everyone has their priorities…

2^nd Room

Lo and behold but what did we find in the second room? That’s right – more garbage bags! Joe P even used a black light to see if the clothes were clean.

Chris: I don’t need a dumb flashlight to tell me what’s good.

The Legend was all stealth. He subtly bid and won at $225. Looking for a score, Joe P. found interesting binoculars along with a bird watching guide. He cleverly deduced that the binoculars had some value. He took the binoculars to Central Park for appraisal. An expert was able to tell that the lenses indicated high quality materials. Valued at $1,000.

3^rd Room

It took some effort to get a glimpse inside the third room. We can blame (or thank) the third room as Candy accidentally flashed her underwear while she bent down to take a peak (let’s give her the benefit of the doubt on this one). Mike had an interest. He won at $700 then promptly caused a mini avalanche while unloading. Mike’s finds included computers and jewelry that he sold on the spot for $200 and $250.

What happened to Chris and Tad?

Harlem clearly wasn’t the place for them as they walked away with nothing.

Profit Totals:

Candy Olsen & Courtney Wagner: $3,010
Joe Paulticheck : $795
Mike Briotta: $615
Chris Morelli & Tad Eaton: $0

Which room would you have bought?

Please leave your comments in the box below.